


You Make My Heart Sing

by Neacle



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Attraction, F/M, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Greysexual Character, Hand Jobs, Making Out, Oral Sex, Smut, mass effect: andromeda spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-10-24 22:41:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10751277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neacle/pseuds/Neacle
Summary: A collection of drabbles depicting Ryder and Jaal's interactions and eventual relationship, with themes of sexual questioning, attraction and the fear and wonder of falling for a completely new species.





	1. The heart never gets full, a lifetime to fit inside

Ava Ryder, soldier, Pathfinder, human, is pretty sure she's developing an enormous crush on their angaran squadmate.

Which is weird, and not because he's an entirely new alien species, though maybe that would hold true as well, when she thinks about it.

No, it's weird because she's never had a crush on anyone...at all.  
Growing up on the Citadel with her much more charismatic brother, Ava had never really felt much of anything towards other people when it came to romance or sex. When someone had asked her out, she'd pretty much agreed to it simply to _find out_ if something would sprout from there. Never happened.

At last she figured that maybe she simply wasn't wired that way, and went on her way perfectly content, never really putting any more thought on the matter.

Now though, 600 years later, in a completely new galaxy, her heart and practically her entire body had _thumped_ when Jaal had walked down those stairs on Aya to evaluate her.

And that's crazy, right? To be so completely overwhelmed by someone so massively different and new, a truly unknown individual? To be so...attracted?

  
He's distant at first, which is understandable, and Ava actually _tries_ to connect with him, not just because she wants to know her crewmates, but because she wants to know _him._ She stammers when she asks him to show her his rifle, and her cheeks get hot when he let's her hold it and their fingers touch in the progress.

“I learned the basics of sniper rifles in training.” She says as she turns it over, studying the crevices and shapes. “I'm not that good though...probably rely more on my biotics than I should.”

He looks up, brow raised. “You are a...'biotic' as well, then?”

“I, well...yeah.” She rubs her neck. “Not nearly as good as Cora though.”  
  
He regards her for a moment, then a light smile starts to show.

“I...will have to form my own opinion once we fight side by side.”  
  
And his voice makes her hum in delight, his eyes...She could drown in them.

She's never felt like this before, and it's ridiculous! It feels like she's somehow stumbling upon this too late, she's only 22 but she's no teenager anymore. Then again...if she's never felt this before, it's not so strange that she should experience it all like it's a new thing?  
It's times like these where she truly misses mom, or hell – even dad – because you're supposed to talk to your parents about these things. Not that they'd been particularly close to begin with. She's not even sure she'd feel comfortable discussing her love life with either of them. Her brother possibly? But that was impossible for the time being. She's stuck by herself for now, and damn how do people even do this?  
  
He insists to come along when they land on Voeld, which she was going to ask him to anyway, and...they work well together. She and Cora rushes in close to blast them away and he snipes any they miss. It's swift, almost fluid, and when she's forced to use her rifle he throws away a quick “Excellently done!” when she hits her target. She almost feels proud, and when they climb back into the Nomad he gives her shoulder a light shake.

“You underestimate yourself, Pathfinder.”

  
Ava is so distracted for the rest of the ride that Cora has to take the wheel.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I should learn to finish things before I start on new ones....  
> Anyway, I finished Andromeda and I LOVED it, and of course I romanced Jaal...I mean, c'mon
> 
> The title is a translated line from the swedish song Andromeda by Kent ;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw36RsgVMuI


	2. He's a Spacer, a star chaser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's like her nerves hurt whenever she tries to speak with him. The quickening of her heart rate, the shaking of her voice and hands."

He's great at compliments, like...really great. Peebee has fire in her eyes, Cora is filled with brilliance, and Vetra is like a dancer on the battlefield. 

Angara are free with their emotions, he told her when he first came aboard, and compliments – or insults – are a natural part of their community. Ava shouldn't feel jealous, and she's not really sure she really is, but...it stings a little.

And she knows he can do whatever he wants, if she doesn't show any interest, he can't possibly know what she feels. So it's entirely her own doing, but damn how the hell does this  _work_ ?

 

It's like her nerves hurt whenever she tries to speak with him. The quickening of her heart rate, the shaking of her voice and hands.   
  
She can't say it gets any better after Liam's stupid idea about getting to know each other.   
He just...he just walks in there completely naked, totally casual. Liam had the decency to keep his pants on, but this...The smooth lines, the arch of his back and neck, his ass. _Oh God, his ass._   
Ava really can't stop herself from throwing a quick glance down his crotch when she gets a chance, and she's actually surprised to feel  _disappointment_ when she doesn't see anything. She actually hoped to see  _something_ even resembling genitals, a thing she's never cared for at all before and actually found kind of uncomfortable. And now...

She's so shocked by her own revelation that she doesn't even realise that she's still standing there staring at them, Liam clearly waiting for her to say...well, anything.

Still completely flabbergast, she's blurts out the first thing that comes to her mind.  
“Is this show for my benefit? Because...I'm benefitting.”

Before she can fully process what she just said and then quietly sink through the floor and out in space for a quick death, Liam lets out an amused laugh while Jaal...is that a tiny smirk she sees?

“Just convenience Ryder, swapping armour.” He says before they proceed with...deliberately looking for insults towards each other?   
Ava lets them be, far too distracted with her own thoughts.

 

oOo

Masturbating has always been very...weird.   
  
When she was about 14 she tried it for the first time in their shower when mom and dad was out. Scott was busy studying, music blasting from his room. Now was as good a time as any she'd figured.   
  
It had been...awkward, to say the least. The touching had been all fine and good she supposed, but it'd been mostly still, unmoving. She figured maybe she had to fantasise about something, or someone, but since she had no one to think about, and no dirty fantasies to explore, she'd simply stood there...fumbling and then, kind of lost both interest and patience.   
  
She tried a few more times after that, maybe it'd be different when she was 15...or 16? 17 maybe? ...18?

She pretty much stopped after that. It just felt...wrong.

 

Until...well, now.   
  
She's supposed to be sleeping, yet her thoughts are a swirling mess. She just...keeps thinking, about him. He's still a little distant, but he's nice and kind _._

He's strangely...cute? Yet when he's serious and his voice gets that edge...he's  _hot._

Without thinking she presses her legs together, looking for some kind of friction, some kind of push.   
He has nice lips, familiar. Would it feel nice to kiss him? Would...would he kiss her back if he wanted?   
Her hand sneaks up under her night shirt and cups a breast. Would he find them strange or fascinating? She'd seen his chest and well, it looked weird..to say the least. Maybe he'd think the same of her. Or maybe not...? Maybe he'd be intrigued, maybe he'd want to touch them, explore them.

She swallows when she starts to feel a beating between her legs, an ache almost.

“SAM?” She whispers out into the night, nervously biting her lip.

“ _Yes, Pathfinder?”_

“Could...could you maybe go offline for the rest of the night?” She clears her throat. “My authorisation.”   
“ _As you wish, Ava. But you know I cannot fully 'go offline' in the sense that you're suggesting. It would, to put it bluntly, kill you.”  
_ She lets out a frustrated sigh.  
“Well, do whatever you do to... __not see what I'm doing then, without me hitting the bucket, thanks.”

“ __Very well, good night Pathfinder.” S he hears in her head, then it's quiet. 

She's truly alone, just her and her wild fantasises. And her aching mound and racing heart.

Slowly she cups her breast again, imagining it's his hand. Her other one travels further down, he'd do that too maybe. Explore thoroughly, move down to touch her clit, slide his fingers through her lips.

Maybe he'd kiss her neck, nose around her ears. Angara don't have those, bet he'd be curious. She'd answer in kind of course, let her hands glide down his powerful back, cup his ass.  _ God, she really want to touch his ass.  _ Maybe move further down to follow his muscular thighs. Would he like that? Perhaps she'd kiss him more, move her lips over his neck, where the...flaps connected. Would they be sensitive? 

It feels like her heart is going to explode, it hammers so fast. She tries to be quiet, yet she can't help a small gasp or two from escaping the closer she gets. Because she is, she's close. She doesn't know  _ how _ she knows that, yet a small voice in the back of her head seems to almost whisper  _ “Soon, just keep going, almost there”,  _ and she almost starts sobbing because it's like she's floating, she's floating with him even if he isn't there and it feel so  _ good  _ and- 

Release.

She almost screams when it hits her, yet no sound is coming out except a sharp intake of breath. She's slowly returning down to earth, and she almost giggles since she knows they're in space, but that's what it feels like. Like she was floating in the sky and then started free falling back.

Lying there gasping, she has to take deep breaths to calm her heart, her nerves almost buzzing.

 

So that's what it's supposed to feel like.

 

Huh.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from the song Spacer by Shiela
> 
> It just really made me think of Jaal?? 
> 
> Anyway, Ava's experiences are...hugely inspired by my own, and I just felt really good writing her so close to my own thoughts and feelings <3 It felt warm and safe somehow


	3. I can make room, if you can bring yourself to share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Family...somehow it's so unfamiliar to her. She loved dad, still does. But...it's hard to miss someone who wasn't really there. Mom's a bit worse, yet she wasn't around much either. For most of her life, it's mostly been her and Scott. And now..."

“Are you okay?”   
  
Managing to save the Moshae was one thing, but to find out who the kett they fought really were...Ava can't possibly come close to understand what Jaal and the rest of the angara must be feeling.   
Yet she's here in the tech lab, because she wants to support him in any way she can. He looks up from his cot, his face weary.

“Thank you for checking, but...I'm all right.” He sounds so tired, and Ava catches herself with wanting to hug him, do _anything._ It brings her back to the kett facility, when they found out...when he kneeled down and cried. “I have to be, how else do we go on?” He stands up slowly. “You know?” 

“Do...do you want to talk about it?” She tries to smile. “I have a good shoulder.”

She's kind, he says, but it's clear he wants a distraction, so he brings up his family instead.

Family...somehow it's so unfamiliar to her. She loved dad, still does. But...it's hard to miss someone who wasn't really there. Mom's a bit worse, yet she wasn't around much either. For most of her life, it's mostly been her and Scott. And now...

“You talk about family a lot.”

They've somehow settled down by the desk, leaning against the table, and he chuckles before answering.

“Really? I guess it's just part of our culture.”

And he tells her about their community, and all his...many, many mothers. It's so surreal, how different their families are. All those siblings and all those cousins living together, forming bonds. It's...uncharted territory for her.  
“My family's small.” She smiles and shrugs. She can't really relate with him at all on this front.

Yet he seems interested anyway and tilts his head. “Are you close?”   
“I...I don't think we were.” She shrugs again, trying to mention her dead parents as delicately as possible. “Me and my brother are close though, but...he's in a medically induced coma.” She rubs her neck as it suddenly hits her. “I guess...I'm kind of an orphan at the moment.”  
“I'm sorry.” He sounds very sincere, and it's not pity he shows but...compassion. Ava can only chuckle in response, a brittle, broken sound.

“Yeah, well...” She says quietly, and then she feels a few tears on the brink of breaking loose. It's okay though, if there's anyone on the ship she can cry in front of, it surely must be Jaal.

And he puts a hand on her shoulder as she takes a deep breath and tries to blink the tears away. It works, though her vision does get a little blurry at one time. She lets out a careful laugh again.

“This random collection of Tempest oddballs _can_ feel like a family sometimes though...” 

And she's not just saying that to try and smooth over the situation she has created, the Tempest crew  _ has _ grown on her, and she likes being here. She likes being with them. Jaal just smiles and nods, his hand still on her shoulder.

“I've never really felt I had a purpose...” His holds gets a little firmer as he gives her a light shake. “But here, I do.”

Her heart thuds, and she can't stop a tiny smile from forming. Yet his words also makes her slightly confused.

“What about the Resistance then?” She raises an eyebrow at him, and the question is entirely innocent, yet it makes him frown. Almost like it's troubling him.

“My place in the Resistance is...” He seems to look for the right words as he pauses, his eyes shifting away from her for a second. “It's not what I'd like.”

Ava starts to protest, he's done a lot of good surely! And many seemed to look up to him, as far as she'd seen.

“Well, sure.” He chuckles, and shakes her shoulder on last time. “But you're going to do something important, Ryder. I feel it.” He looks around the room. “This is where I should be.”

She's not sure what to say to that, her heart practically drumming in her ears. Which is stupid really, 'cause it's not like he's talking about her. He's talking about the mission, and she's feeling so stupid. She can't even reply to his damn sentence.

It doesn't help that Jaal seems to take her stunned silence as something negative, as he carefully clears his throat and gives her something of a pleading look.

“I realise that...me coming onboard wasn't planned.” He sighs. “I don't want to..., what did Liam say, 'take the...spotlight'?”

Ava quickly snaps out of her gloom and turns to him.

“What? No, no.” She shakes her head, face immediately heating up. “Wouldn't really use that term but...No, you shouldn't feel like you're not welcome. I _like_ having you around! Specifically you.”

She's only then realising what she's said and turns away as quickly as she can, her mouth a thin line on her face. _Good job, Ava, very smooth._ But Jaal simply leans his head to the side and raises a brow.

“Because of my...skill and knowledge?”

She could lie, she realises. She could, and things would just keep going like they did, and maybe stay that way. But...she doesn't really want to, at all. The point of being interested in someone, in any way, is to let them know...right? To move things forward hopefully. _Just do it, you damn coward._ She bites her lip and turns back to him.

“Not really...” She murmurs, cheeks probably red as all hell. And she swears she's on the brink of fainting when he simply smiles and leans in _just_ a bit closer.

“Because you enjoy spending time with me as much as I do with you.”

It's not a question.

Then she almost grins at the last remark, and has to look down at her feet.

“You do?”

“Yes.” His voice makes her nerves stand on end. “You're fascinating. And special, and...strange.”

He's dead-serious as he says it, and at first it kind of stings a little. He may just think her company enjoyable because she's an alien and therefore a good subject of study. But he says it so fondly that she _has_ to rethink her first reaction. He's just honest, like all angara are.

“Thanks?” She chuckles, her fingers nervously threading together. She's not really sure how to reply exactly. Maybe she should say something similar back? But that wouldn't sound sincere at all, just copying him. Even if...she kind of _do_ think he's fascinating and special too, and...maybe a little strange also.

She doesn't get a chance to reciprocate though, as Jaal smiles and leans forward again.

“I mean it.” He says in a voice that makes her glad she's already leaning against a table.

 

She's so fucked.

 

She's so damn fucked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is, once again, a translated line from the swedish song Andromeda by Kent  
> I'll be naming A LOT of my chapters from that song, not gonna lie >_>


	4. I'm so into you, I can barely breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ryder, what do you like to do for fun?”

“Ryder, what do you like to do for fun?”

 

Ava looks up from her plate, fully prepared, yet maybe a bit pleasantly surprised. He _had_ been asking almost everybody else on the ship, so it makes her happy that he's now coming to her.

“Not having any luck with the rest of the crew?” She teases and puts her fork down.

He merely hums. “I do not think our definition of 'fun' is the same.”

“Yet you keep trying.” She smiles, and he takes a seat beside her, very...very close.

“Yes.” He nods. “So, what do _you_ do?”

She was prepared for him asking, but it hits her that she's actually unsure what to answer. What she does on her free time now is massively different to what she did on her free time _before._ Yet..it's about what she likes to do, whether she can do them now or not.

“I like to read?” She tries. “Fiction, adventure...ehm, romance and all that.”

He actually looks surprised, and at first she thinks that maybe he doesn't know what she means at all. Maybe the angara don't have authors..like that?

“So you read love stories?” He asks instead, and okay, yeah. He understood.

She laughs. “I guess? They mostly involve more than just that though, but yeah, love stories.”

“Do you do other things?” He genuinely seems interested, and Ava feels her cheeks slowly warming up.

“Well, I did learn to dance when I was younger. I liked that a lot.” She frowns. “But I guess I don't really do that anymore, so I don't know if it counts.”

Now he simply stares.

“You were a dancer?”

“I, well...we had dance classes you could take.” She stammers, trying to wave it aside. “We danced in groups, and sometimes we performed at certain things. I wasn't great, but I enjoyed it.” She clears her throat. “I'm not even sure our dancing is remotely similar to yours anyway.”

Then again, simply Earth had more dancing styles than she could count, maybe some things were universal?

“You would have to show me if that is the case.” He says and almost makes her choke on her food. Talk about throwing her for a loop. Dance? In front of him? No way, no no no.

“I'm not going to do that!” She coughs and quickly reaches for her drink. He looks a bit taken back, and damn she totally sounded mean now, didn't she?

“Why not?” He asks, brows raised in concern.

“Because-” She takes a huge chunk of water. “-it would be embarrassing. I haven't danced in front of anyone in years, I'm rusty.”

“Rusty...?”

She groans, trying to think of a good way to explain.

“It means I would probably perform badly, since it's been so long.”

He nods slowly. “Oh. Right, well...we wouldn't want that now, would we?”

 

And even after they've changed the subject Ava has a strong feeling he hasn't let it go. Not by a long shot.

 

oOo

 

They're drifting just over Havarl when Cora asks her to look over a few reports, and Ava resides to her fate of reading those right before bed instead of, well...doing _anything_ else.

Walking around the room with the first report in her hand, she stops by her tiny stereo and chews her lip in contemplation. A little music wouldn't hurt this otherwise very boring task. Putting a random playlist on shuffle, she starts to make it back to the desk when a familiar song comes up. She'd always liked dancing to that one in class, an older asari band. Well, maybe a lot older now she realises as she stops in her tracks to take in the beat. Without really thinking about it, her foot starts to stomp lightly, followed by her knees, and then the hips. She remembers the dance her teacher had choreographed for this, and how much she'd had to train at home to do it correctly. Now it practically came as second nature to her, seeing as she had no problem remembering it now at all. Huh, figure that.

She's still holding the report as she spins around and twists her hip just as the beat drops and the real fun begins, and she can't help but smile as she follows the steps she hasn't followed in _literally_ hundreds of years. She stomps and turns her feet, bending her arms, shakes her hips and turns around-

Jaal is standing in the doorway, and she forgot to lock, and he's staring, and she wants to jump out the airlock.

She's somehow frozen in place, and now they're just standing there awkwardly looking at each other, her face redder by the second.

Then he slowly blinks, and a tiny smile starts forming on his lips.

“You were dancing.” He says, _not_ asking she notes, and she can only nod, her mouth clamped shut and lips thin.

_Oh damn, oh damn._ She slowly lowers her arms and presses the pad with the report closely to her chest, as if to stupidly shield herself somehow. 

“I would not say that you are...rusty.” He smiles and crosses his arms. “Not at all.” 

Then he turns around. “I'll let you return to work, Pathfinder.”

And he's gone, the doors sliding close after him. 

 

Ava feels...not as embarrassed as she did at first. She should though, right? But she's not. No, she's feeling...proud, and maybe a little happy. He basically just told her he liked it, that she was good. She covers her face with the pad and lets out a small giggle, a grin forming on her face which she can't seem to get rid of for the rest of the evening. 

 

Damn, she's really into him isn't she? She sighs. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Into You by Ariana Grande
> 
> If my Shepard can't be a good dancer, my Ryder damn well will be!


	5. We were kids, we were small children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "On her way over she suddenly sees two women she's spotted before, giving both her and Jaal an eyeful. She'd accidentally overheard them before whispering about him, both seeming to be...very interested. Man, she don't blame them. They could probably start a club."

She finds him close to the entrance of the Resistance HQ, looking out over the horizon. Aya really is a beautiful planet. Even the tornados she can spot far off has their certain charm, a sort of dangerous gorgeousness.

He looks up when she nears, and the smile he gives her is almost enough to make her knees give in under her. Wouldn't that be a sight, she grumbles to herself. On her way over she suddenly sees two women she's spotted before, giving both her and Jaal an eyeful. She'd accidentally overheard them before whispering about him, both seeming to be...very interested. Man, she don't blame them. They could probably start a club.

Though it hits her that the both of them look, if not annoyed, then at least a bit...put off, by the sight of her with him. Could...could they be jealous? Or, damn even worse. Could they actually think she and Jaal had something, and be...disgusted?  
Ava pulls her shoulders up and lowers her head a bit, as if to try and see if she'll somehow turn invisible.

She's not thought of this at all. Back in the Milky Way, interspecies couples were...not enormously common, but still...it was accepted.

But here, there were no other aliens than the angara, as far as they knew. If someone would develop a relationship with a person from the Initiative...would it be a bad thing? Damn, would they be seen as perverts, sexual deviants or...shit, would it be like breaking a law? She's almost on the brink of panic when Jaal gives her shoulder a light shove, interrupting the crazy whirlwind that are her thoughts.

“Are you okay, Ryder?” He sounds concerned, and damn what is she supposed to say to that, he can clearly see that she's not, so it's not like she can lie.

“I'm...” She begins, clearing her throat. “Sorry, I'm just tired. How are you?”

It's clear he's not buying it, but he goes along with her wish to change the subject and she wants to thank every damn deity that he does.

“I just had a very interesting conversation with Peebee.” He states, and oh, yeah. Right. Ava's not the only one on the ship that's thirsty for their angaran crewmate.

“Okay...? What kind of conversation?” She raises an eyebrow and leans against the railing.

“Mating.”

He says it so straightforward and so damn casually that she's not sure she heard him correctly at first.

“I'm sorry, what?” She stutters, staring at him.

“Yes.” He nods calmly, as if to agree with her chocked state. “I was quite taken aback by her proposition. But then it appeared that she was simply...teasing me. She had a good laugh as she walked away.”

He doesn't sound all that disappointed, and yet Ava can still feel that cold snake coiling down her spine. She's worried, scared even.

“What...what would you have said if she was serious?” She mumbles almost, fingers gripping the railing, as if to be prepared.

But Jaal simply looks at her, surprised it seems.

“Well, I was chocked at first.” He says, shrugging. “But when I had regained my bearings, I guess I would say I wasn't...available.”

Available? Meaning he was preoccupied? Already claimed for? Called dibs....so to say? Oh, she's such an idiot. She's so stupid. Here she's been walking around falling for him hard, and then not even checking if he wasn't already involved. _Stupid, stupid girl._

“So...” She clears her throat, forcing herself to calm down the drumming in her ears. “...you have a...mate? A partner?”

Again he looks surprised, and she swears she could cry when he slowly shakes his head.

“No...no.” He stills, and leans against the railing as well. “I don't. Not for a long time.”

“Not for a long time?”

He chuckles, sad yet fondly. And then he tells her about Allia, about her eyes, and her laugh...and her kisses. Ava feels a lump in her chest, not because of jealousy, well...maybe a little, but mostly because this story doesn't seem like it has a happy ending. Especially when he mentions his older brother.

“Wait...” She holds up a hand to stop him briefly. “Your brother came...and took your girlfriend?”

“That word is new.” He frowns, then sneers a little. “And he didn't 'take her', she simply...chose him...instead.”

She winces. “Oh.”

The story doesn't stop there. She can't for the world of her imagine what it must feel like to see your former love every day at home...together with your brother of all people.

And then it turns out he doesn't even have to do that, since they're most likely dead. Damn.

“I'm sorry, Jaal.” She sighs, her shoulder gently bumping his arm. “I..I don't know what to say.”

He smiles. “You are kind, that is enough.”

He's said that many times now, that she is kind. It makes her feel warm, and humbled, mostly because she doesn't feel that great herself, and when he says things like that...it makes her want to try and be all the more better. The best version of herself.

“What about you?” He asks then, and she looks up at him confused. “Have you ever been in love?”

She sighs, there it is...that awkward question the crush always asks the main protagonist in those teen shows she watched when she was small. That situation where you either lie, talk it away...or come clean.

At that she panics, because what she's feeling is still so new and scary and...completely, inescapably terrifying. She's not even sure she's _in love_ with him. But she could be...soon? Maybe? What does that even feel like?

“No.” She simply says. “Never.”

He pushes away slightly from the railing and looks down at her, so obviously fascinated.

“Really?” He blinks. “Never?”

She shrugs. “It never felt...right. You know?”

It's still so hard to talk about. She's been hearing the same remarks for almost 10 years of her life now. _No boyfriend in school, Ava? Girlfriend? Never? No one? Not even casually?_ At least she'd dated, if only because she'd felt she had to.

“And what about now?” His words bring her out of her gloom, if only to bring her to confusion instead.

“Now?” She asks.

“You are in a whole new galaxy.” He smiles, and raises a hand as if to gesture out over the landscape. “Do you think it could feel right...here?”

Something, a tiny voice at the back of her head, is telling her he's not talking about Heleus. That maybe he's indicating something a lot more...specific, and closer.

She bites her lip and smiles.

“Yeah, maybe.” She whispers. “I'd like to.”

 

Later, back on the Tempest, he calls her 'dearest' in his emails.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is...again, from the swedish song Andromeda by Kent >_>
> 
> I'm taking whatever chances I can to slightly change the conversations as to fit into...I dunno, more normal situations?? In the game, I found it very awkward to ask Jaal about his relationship status, then ask him about his ex, and then ask him if he's interested in me, like??? Maybe that is not the right time Ryder...  
> Anyway, things are picking up pace, what-oh what will happen next


	6. We were chaos, grew up without responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She's never seen him be in so much control as now. 
> 
> And then Akksul shoots him."

Akksul has been trouble for a while now, but nothing that they haven't been able to handle. It's the waiting that is the real danger, like a monster lurking right under the surface of a very, very still lake.

After his attacks on Eos, it was only a matter of time before that, calm still water would begin to thrum.   
But to bring Jaal's siblings into it all...

“Ryder...He has my family.” He's almost begging when he's told her the whole situation. “But I don't think I can do this alone.”

And Ava can't help but gently grab him, doing what she can to reassure him.

“Jaal, you don't have to.” She smiles and squeezes his shoulders. “Just tell me the time and place.”

He lets out a long sigh. Like he's relieved, like he didn't think she would help him. Ava is pretty sure that she'd do everything and more for him if he asked.

“No hesitation.” He murmurs and leans down, his forehead almost touching hers. “That is what I love about you.”

Then he slowly straightens up and mentions the contact on Havarl, and as they head to the bridge to plot the course, what he said back in the lab seems to slowly creep back and actually dawn on her.

 

_That is what he loves about me._

 

oOo

 

The Forge is beautiful, just like the rest of the planet, and even if they're gunning down Roekaar at almost every turn, she has to pause whenever she can and simply take in the view. The sun is setting over the mountains and she closes her eyes and inhales the fresh breeze circling around them. It's peaceful, despite their current predicament. She'd love to come here again, if she can.

 

And if the place is still standing, since it's filled with  _bombs_ . Nothing is ever simple.

 

oOo

 

“Maybe the enemy...is this traitor!” 

Akksul is pointing a gun at him. He's pointing a gun at Jaal and if she does nothing he will probably shoot. 

She's pointing the rifle at the Roekaar's leader before she even has time to breathe and calls Jaal's name. 

But he simply holds out his hand and utters two single words.

“Don't, Ava.” 

Her vision is blurring as she hastily looks between them, her finger still against the trigger. But she remembers his words after they landed, and after they'd confronted his siblings. And...right before this.

 

_Trust me._

 

She does, more than she trusts anyone on the ship. More than she trusts _anyone._

 

“-you have become a danger to your own people.” Jaal is saying, calmly, surely. “Walk away.”

She's never seen him be in so much control as now.

 

And then Akksul shoots him.

 

And she can feel her heart stop. She can't breathe. She can't do anything. It's like everything is moving in slow motion as she turns to see the shot kill the only person she's ever wanted and probably ever will.

 

Except...  
  
Except he's alive, with a frizzling wound on his cheek where the blast has nudged him. Everything is quiet, no one is moving as they stare at their leader still pointing the gun against one of their own people.

 

“The alien is not the monster here.” Jaal says, his voice diamond hard and just as sharp.

 

And then they go home.

 

oOo

 

They're looking out over Havarl as his siblings embrace their mothers, Lathoul limping a little as they lead them away.

The sun is almost gone, and the last remaining rays light up the rainforest and makes it look like a sea of tiny lanterns. Ava feels like she could stare forever, or...at least until she feels Jaal's hand on her shoulder, and she lets out a shaky breath.

“Thank you...for trusting me.” He isn't looking at her, most likely following the last light as well. “Killing Akksul would have made the Roekaar stronger...”

She tries to swallow the lump forming in her throat.

“He shot you.” She mumbles hoarsely. Yet he simply shakes his head.

“I'm glad he did.” He says as surely as he spoke before. “It exposed how far he'd fallen.”

At the cost of his safety, at the cost of his potential death. Ava turns to him, her eyes starting to blur.

“I...I was really worried.” She manages to get out before the tears begin to fall, and oh, God, his siblings and mothers are right there. Not that they'd care, she realises. But still.

Jaal immediately turns to her, seemingly distressed and leans down to cup her jaw, his other hands gently stroking her cheek.

“It will heal.” He soothes and then carefully moves to grab her head and pushes his forehead against hers, just as his siblings did. “All scars do.”

 

oOo

 

She's having trouble sleeping that night, and when it's only a few hours left before the next day-shift and she still haven't managed to fall asleep, she decides to call it quits and gets up.

Putting her hair in a quick bun, she makes her way over to the door to head into the kitchen when it slides open and Jaal is standing right outside, hand lifted as if he...was about to knock?

Ava simply stares at him, his still clothed state confusing her more than anything else.

“You haven't gone to bed yet?” She asks, folding her arms.

He blinks, and slowly lowers his arm, looking...a little lost to be honest.

“No, I...” He clears his throat. “No...I don't think I would get much sleep.” He seems to study her then, eyeing her pyjamas. “I take it...you couldn't either.”

She shakes her head and shrugs. “Not really.” She chews on her lip and gives his cheek a long look. “How's the face wound?”

He lowers his head and actually chuckles.

“I think my scar will be impressive.” He notes, before his smile slowly grows more...cautious? “Actually, I...I was about to come and ask for you. As you saw.”

Ava goes still, and nods. He sounds...very serious. He must have had a very good reason to come to her room in the middle of the night.

“Is something wrong, Jaal?” She steps aside to gesture for him to come inside, and as he walks in it occurs to her that he's never actually _been_ in her quarters before.

“No, no.” He says calmly as he looks around, and damn...he looks _very_ out of place in this extremely messy space. Still dressed and so regal-looking with his rofjinn, and here she's standing in fluffy slippers and yellow, ill-fitting pj's.

That doesn't seem to bother him at all though, and when he turns back to look at her, that easy smile is back.

“I...” He begins, before then stepping closer to her. “I would like you to meet my true mother. And the rest of my family. On Havarl, tomorrow? If that's suitable?”

At first she doesn't quite know what to say, then she's almost overwhelmed by the thing he's suggesting. Introducing family is big, it's important. He probably wants her to meet them because she helped him with his siblings, perhaps the mothers wants to thank her? It doesn't matter, she's just happy he's asking.

“Yes!” She exclaims and nods. “Yes, I'd love to.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the family, oooohh
> 
> Also, can't you just imagine Ryder in oversized pj's and fluffy slippers? A+, 10/10
> 
>  
> 
> Title from Andromeda by Kent etc etc etc 0: )


	7. Wild thing, I think I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When Ava had been 15 years old, one of her friends had, after a long time of unresolved feelings, confessed to her and asked her out. Having known him for a long time, and enjoying his company immensely, she'd said yes purely on the factor that she liked being with him, and therefore...that meant she surely must have felt the same as him, right?"

When Ava had been 15 years old, one of her friends had, after a long time of unresolved feelings, confessed to her and asked her out. Having known him for a long time, and enjoying his company immensely, she'd said yes purely on the factor that she liked being with him, and therefore...that meant she surely must have felt the same as him, right? 

She'd been to his parents house before, but never as his girlfriend. It had been...weird, the way they looked at her then, that quiet, knowing smile they think one doesn't see. 

They'd gone up to his room, and done the things they usually always did; search the extranet, listen to music, talk and joke.   
Then he'd moved closer to put an arm around her shoulders and it had hit her then that when people were together, they usually did things she realised now that she didn't want at all. And when he cupped her cheek to turn her to him, she knew for a fact that she definitely didn't want to, but...that was what you were supposed to do when you had a boyfriend. Kissing and being intimate. So she'd pressed her lips to his, mainly to get it over with as quickly as possible. It's never as easy as that.  
Before she could have fully reacted, he'd tilted her head and pushed his tongue inside her mouth. 

She'd immediately flinched away, and without really thinking at all, gotten up, left the room, and then gone straight home. 

 

After many hours in the shower staring at the wall and generally feeling like shit, Scott had at last almost been forced to carry her out of the bathroom and sit her down to ask what was wrong. He'd said something then that she still thought of from time to time.   
  
_It should never feel like a task that you somehow feel like you have to go through with._

 

She ended the relationship the following day. It had lasted for one week. 

 

oOo

 

She doesn't think she's ever seen so many angara in the same building before, and she feels slightly disoriented as Jaal leads her through the crowd. His mother – Sahuna – made her feel welcome, and she can't help but let a grin slip now and again when she thinks of her high praises for her son. She wonders if her own parents ever talked about her and Scott like that when they weren't there. She'd like to think so, at least once. 

“-my sister Koana, our cousin Etta, and brother Finn.” He points them out as they pass them by, and Ava has a hard time keeping up, does she wave? Say 'hi' again? “Then Bavsil, Rolly-” An older aunt starts doting on her as she walks by, and pretty soon more and more family members begin to occupy their space. She thinks she sees Lathoul among the crowd and throws him a quick smile before she feels a hand reaching for hers. Jaal carefully drags her along and away from curious looks and loud voices as he leads her into a smaller room, his room.   
“My...tiny sanctuary.” He chuckles as he closes the door behind them. 

Suddenly she knows why he didn't seem to care about her messy quarters back on the Tempest, his own room is practically _filled_ with stuff. Shelves with tiny gadgets she doesn't even know what they are, and boxes stacked against the walls, so high they almost reach the ceiling.   
He walks over to his bed, not that different from his cot in the tech lab she notes. That too, is covered with tiny crates. He quickly moves them, almost seeming embarrassed that he didn't clean before she came. She can't help but smile fondly at his flustered state.  
“Who put this here?” He sighs and places the box in his lap as he sits down. 

She looks over curiously. “What is it?” 

He gestures for her to sit down, and shows her old weapon schematics and...remains of a dissected kearkyn?   
Jaal nods. “Alfit. He died.”   
“So you took him apart to...learn?” She desperately hopes that's the only reason. When he nods again she can't help a small sigh of relief from escaping. He chuckles nervously and puts the box down.  
“I don't really...show people these things.” He almost seems uncertain, his eyes seeming to have a hard time deciding where to settle. She's about to ask him if he's alright when he then suddenly takes her hand and actually looks at her.   
“Ava, you...” He releases a trembling sigh. “...you make my heart sing.”   
It's like someone just removed a giant, heavy bag off her back. She gasps, more a sharp intake of breath than an actual sound, but...Did she hear him right? Did she really? He's looking at her with such pleading and reverence that it almost hurts, and then he lifts her hand to engulf it in his other one as well.   
“I want us to be together.” He says it so gently, so softly, that she almost wants to sob.   
“I want that too.” She whispers, her voice shaky as hell but damnit, she doesn't care at all. And especially not when Jaal starts to laugh. He's laughing in relief, and it hits her that he...was just as scared as her. She can't stop herself, and she starts laughing too. She's just so...happy. It must look so damn silly though, them just sitting there laughing.   
Then he leans in closer and oh, he's going to- Her heart is beating so hard she swears it's going to burst through her chest any minute, and as he gently cups her cheek she's hit by the realisation that yes, she's nervous. She's nervous as shit, but...she wants to. She really wants to.   
“I adore you.” He says, and then his lips are gently touching hers, and at first she's scared it will be like before, all those years ago, but...he's just softly letting their mouths press against each other, now and again moving his lips and making her answer in kind.   
She's no expert on the matter at all, but...he's very good. She likes it _a lot_.   
  
And most importantly...  
  
 _It doesn't feel like a task._  
  
When he eventually pulls away, she's feeling just a little bit dizzy. It's like her entire skin is buzzing.   
She doesn't quite have the time to get her bearings back before he awkwardly stumbles up from the bed and holds out his hands.  
“L-let me show you one more thing you might like.” She still feels like she's floating on air as she lets him pull her up, he could probably suggest anything and she'd just go along with it.   
He smiles. “Lie down.”   
  
And then he shows her the stars.

 

oOo

 

“It's so funny that angara kiss as well.” She points out quietly as they stare up at the hologram he's turned on. It may not be accurate, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful. She could stare at it forever.   
Jaal turns to her, his hand squeezing hers.  
“It is?”   
She smiles and meets his eyes. “It's funny how some things are universal, is all.” 

He chuckles and turns to lie on his side, raising their joined hands up to his mouth.  
“So you liked it, then?” He murmurs and his voice makes her shiver all the way to her _bones._ She bites her lip and actually grins as she nods, and then he kisses her knuckles and she's so glad she chose to wear her civvies instead of armour. His lips are warm against her hands, and then he reaches for her head and she goes along without a word as he pulls her to him and kisses her once again.   
It's still careful and soft, like they're covered in a giant, warm blanket. And even when he embraces her and rolls to lie on his back again –  _with her on top of him –_ it doesn't feel overly sexual or anything like it at all. It just feels safe, and so gentle that she almost wants to melt  _into_ him. 

He cups the back of her head to change the angle she's in, and then his hands stays there, gloved fingers pulling on her bun. He doesn't seem to fully know how her hair works yet, because he suddenly flinches when it accidentally starts to come undone.   
“Ava?” He pulls back and stares at her in distress while she's trying to contain her giggles.   
Sitting up across his lap, she reaches back to pull the pins out and fully let her hair loose.   
It's getting pretty long, she ponders as she tries to straighten it out over her shoulders. Then she's stopped by Jaal as he slowly sits up as well, his hand coming to rest against her cheek, then moving back to run his fingers through her hair.   
“You are...beautiful.” He breathes, looking at her like he's seen a...hell, like he's seen a god or something. It actually takes her breath away for a second or two, and she has to look away, face burning.  
“Do you really think so, or are you just saying that because you like me?” She teases. It was one thing for her to find him attractive, she thought. She'd grown up on the Citadel, with tons of different species around her. But he'd known nothing else, because there hadn't been anything else. It wouldn't _really_ be strange for her to be drawn to an alien, newly discovered or not.   
But it would be for him, wouldn't it?   
He just keeps on surprising her though it seems, because he simply looks at her, eyes certain and loving.  
“I do.” He says, and gives her a quick kiss. “From the moment I saw you.”   
_Oh God, he's so damn smooth._ She lets out a breathy giggle and leans down to rest her forehead against his shoulder. She needs a minute to cool down, or she's pretty sure she's going to explode.   
He simply takes her in his arms again and falls back on the floor. He must be so fucking pleased, she grumbles.   
  
She wouldn't be surprised at all if he started purring any minute now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *discreetly yet totally obviously projects myself through Ava in the first part* Raise you hand if that has happened to you! Such a pain, right?
> 
> Things are picking up :P
> 
> Title is from Wild Thing by The Troggs
> 
> If you've heard the song you'll know why I picked it lol


	8. My Heart is your land, nothing is forbidden here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She gets a message in the middle of the night."

She gets a message in the middle of the night, and her annoyance at having her sleep disturbed is quickly swept away when she sees that it's from Jaal. She can't stop a smile from spreading as she sits up against the bedframe and reads it. 

She chuckles when he mentions his chaotic family, and then she can't help but squirm in delight and warmth as he recaps the happening of their relationship.   
  
>> _How unlikely is it that you traveled from another galaxy to come into my life? I'm humbled._ << He writes and...it's pretty damn incredible, she thinks. What were the chances?   
  
He's signed it with “Your Darling Jaal”, and she has to take a deep breath or she's scared that she will scream out in joy and wake the entire ship.   
Opening up the keypad, she starts typing up a response, smirking as she does.   
  
>> _Pretty unlikely. But kind of...amazing, right?? Also, I'm the one who's humbled, so you take that back!_ <<  
  
Her omni-tool is quiet for a while, and she recedes that maybe he'd simply wrote it and then gone directly to bed when it pings again.  
  
>> _Did I wake you up? I could have waited with this until morning I suppose. But I couldn't, I want to tell you every thought and feeling I have immediately. Perhaps humans are...unused to that? And yes, my darling, it's more amazing than I can fully describe. We are like...your love stories, yes? And I won't take it back. Why would I take back something that was true?_ <<  
  
She can't help but sigh fondly at his utter and complete straightforwardness, and she sinks further down the bed and pulls up her legs as she starts writing.   
  
>> _Fine, we'll agree that we're both very humbled, okay? And how would you even know if we were like the couples in some of my books? Have you found and read one?? I'll admit I would be a little embarrassed if that was the case._ <<  
  
She _had_ brought a digital copy of a few of her favourite books, and there was the possibility that maybe one or two were part of the media library on the Nexus. She groans at the indications. Just because she liked those stories didn't mean they were _good_. Her omni-tool beeps.   
  
>> _I have. Was that bad? Why would you be embarrassed? Some things continue to confuse me about you. I enjoy it though, I enjoy everything that you do. Strange or not._ <<  
  
He's so damn good with words. Though his mother _had_ said he wrote poetry, that really explains so much.   
  
>> _I enjoy you too...And it's not bad, never mind what I said, okay? Which one did you read, what did you think?_ <<  
  
Yawning and rubbing her eyes, she throws a look at the clock and winces. Jaal must be able to read her mind, because his reply pops up reading;  
  
>> _It is late, my darling. I will tell you tomorrow, yes? We should sleep now. I'm sorry that I woke you._ <<  
  
She hums, half in disappointment and half in agreement. They _do_ reside on the same ship, it's not like they are very far away from each other. Which gets her pondering on a whole other thing.   
  
>> _It's okay, I like talking to you. I'll see you tomorrow. Although...is it weird that you're in a room almost right above me? And that we're saying good night and then going to sleep in two different places, even if we're...together now? I mean, I know it was only earlier today that we established that but, it's a little weird right? Or is it just me?_ <<  
  
It takes a few moments, and maybe he's already turned his omni-tool off and gone to bed, she thinks, and yeah...maybe it's time to sleep. She's just about to turn off her own when it lights up again, one new message in her terminal.   
  
>> _I don't know, I haven't really thought about it. Do you...want me to come to your room? I admit, the thought of holding you as you sleep, and waking up next to you has my – what is the word – stomach fluttering? With those...flies of butter? I would not mind, but at the same time...being away from you, however short the distance, would surely make the morning when I see you again all the more sweeter, yes?_ <<  
  
She can't stop a small laugh from escaping at his try with idioms when she reads it, and his answer makes her calm and warm inside. He's fine with taking it slow, so is she if she's completely honest. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, indeed.  
  
>> _Another night, then?_ <<   
  
The reply is a lot quicker now.  
  
>> _Another night, definitely. Sleep well, my Darling One._ <<  
  
Well, how is she supposed to sleep at all when he says such things? She sighs and looks out the huge windows, gleaming stars looking back. 

 

oOo

 

She hasn't really thought about the implications of having a romantic relationship aboard a ship filled with _other_ people. Mostly because she didn't think she'd ever have one, and especially not in what is technically the work space. If she'd still been in the Alliance, this would have counted as fraternisation, right? Even if he's more of a Resistance liaison, she's still kind of...his boss...or?  
Maybe she should ask Cora about the specifics, she'd have a system set up no doubt. Then again...she didn't really want to walk right up to her XO and tell her she'd gotten together with their angaran contact.   
  
She's not even sure how she wants to play this out overall. Would they go about their business as usual and then be sweet when no one saw, or would she want to...show it more openly?   
She doesn't know what she wants at all, and these thoughts continue to plague her mind as she drags herself out of bed and puts her slippers on. Walking slowly out to the kitchen, she murmurs a quiet thanks that it's empty, and then starts the coffee-maker. She thinks she can hear Liam and Drack from the crew quarters but other than that the ship is comfortably quiet. She hums and watches the coffee brew. It's oddly therapeutic to just watch it drip down the can, and for a moment or two she's simply lost in observing it.   
So lost, in fact, that she doesn't seem to hear when the kitchen door slides open and someone walks in. Then two arms engulf her and she lets out a surprised shriek as Jaal lifts her up and spins her around. He laughs at her reaction and puts her down after a few turns around the room, and damn she can't even stay annoyed at him. Especially not when her cups her face and brings their foreheads together.

“Good morning, my Darling.” He murmurs before kissing her, and _oh, wow._ If this is what her mornings will be like from now on, she doesn't think she'll need coffee anymore.   
“Good morning-” She manages to laugh out before he's on her again. He's not wearing his rofjinn, she notices despite the haze settling over her senses, and he's left the gloves off as well as his fingers travel back through her hair and up her scalp. She can't help a tiny gasp from escaping then and she pulls back to stare at him in embarrassment. He stares back, and damn, his pupils are _huge._ If that works the same way as humans, then she's not the only one who needs to take a second and calm down.   
“Your eyes...” She giggles, a little breathless as she covers her mouth with the back of her hand.   
He blinks in wonder at first, then he releases a chuckle and pulls her into a gentle hug, lips against her forehead.   
  
“Well, well, what do we have here?” Peebee grins as she leans against the doorframe, Vetra poking out from above her. 

Ava goes as rigid as a stick and stares at them, still trapped between Jaal's arms. He  _has_ stopped kissing her though, and she notes that he seems almost as tense as her as he looks up to stare at them as well. Maybe she's not the only one who has wondered how this will work out. 

“You two are so sweet I think I need to see a dentist.” Their asari companion drawls, rolling her eyes, grin not leaving her lips. 

“About time.” Vetra hums, mandibles spreading. “You two have been beating around the bush so long now I thought we'd have to lock you up together.” 

Jaal's about to ask about dentists and bushes, no doubt, when Gil suddenly shows up. Not making it any better...  
He throws them a quick look, Jaal...still holding her very tightly in his arms, and then he lets out a long groan.  
“Guys, in the kitchen?” He mutters, folding his arms. “We eat in there.”

At that they quickly let each other go and Ava gives him a mean look. “Gil!” 

And then Vetra steps in, both hands raised, and  _thank God for Vetra_ , she thinks. 

“Okay, back off everybody.” She says calmly and helps push Peebee and Gil along, much to their evident disappointment. “Let's leave the lovebirds alone.” 

The door slides shut after them, and then they're alone again. 

Ava concludes that the choice on how to act around the ship, and wether to keep it private or not, is no longer up to her  _or_ Jaal. 

It was bound to happen eventually she supposes, but maybe not quite so...humiliating maybe.   
Beside her, Jaal's clearing his throat and when she turns to him he looks...uncomfortable.

“I'm sorry.” He says, and...what? She stares at him. “Maybe I shouldn't have...ambushed you like that.”

Oh.

“No, no don't apologise!” She quickly shakes her head and reaches for his hand. “I...I liked it...” She admits, chewing in her lip. “It's not like we're alone here, can't help if some of them happen to cross our way, you know?” 

“Ah.” He looks thoughtful at first, but then he tilts his head and smiles in relief, moving to stroke her cheek. 

 

Then the coffee-maker beeps. 

 

Right. 

 

She reluctantly releases his hand and turns to grab for a cub on the shelf when he reaches over her and takes one before she can. She raises an eyebrow at him and he lets out a nervous breath before he offers the cup to her. 

“So, I was going to tell you what I thought...of the book?” He smiles and lowers his head in question. 

“Right.” She'd completely forgotten about that, and she smiles back fondly at his attempt at bringing things back to...more neutral territory. “...Do you want to eat in my room?”   
He seems surprised when she asks, and okay...that makes her a little nervous. Don't angara eat together or something? He _had_ always had his meals inside the tech lab as far as she'd noticed when she thinks about it. But what about the restaurant on Aya then, there were people who ate together there. 

She's overthinking this way too much, which is especially obvious when Jaal simply nods eagerly and bends down to kiss her forehead once again. 

“Yes, I'd like that.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andromeda by Kent, no surprise 
> 
> I've always been extremely weak for characters sending each other messages, maybe saying things they wouldn't normally do face to face, you know?   
> You can expect a bit more of that in the future XP


	9. An extraterrestrial's thirst for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He puts an arm around her shoulders once she settles down beside him, and when he sighs she knows exactly what's coming.  
> “Tell me about dad.” He says softly."

Ava's on the brink of tears when she walks into the cryo-bay and sees Scott actually _sitting_ there. To actually see that he's up and okay and not just hearing it on the comm.  
She makes her way over to him quicker than she's ever walked before it seems like and when he looks up and calls her name in surprise she throws her arms around him and _cries_.

“Hey now.” He chuckles lightly, but it's a broken sound, and when she at last lets him go, she can see his eyes are pretty blurry too. He puts an arm around her shoulders once she settles down beside him, and when he sighs she knows exactly what's coming.

“Tell me about dad.” He says softly.

 

So she does.

 

oOo

 

“So, what's this about my sister being the Pathfinder.”  
  
Ava huffs out a tired laugh. “Parting-gift from dad, I guess...” She shrugs. “I don't know, feel like I cheated Cora or something. Just flew in and took it from under her nose, you know?”  
Scott gives her shoulder a light squeeze.  
“Seems like you've done a pretty good job so far though.” He smiles. “Dr. Carlyle filled me in; alien allies, several outposts. Good job, sis.”

She chuckles and shrugs. “Still a long way to go.”   
“You'll make it through, and as soon as I'll get my gear-” He starts to stand up on shaky legs, and Ava immediately grabs his arms.  
“Careful!”

And then Harry is by their side before they know it, lecturing like any good doctor. Scott is _not_ fit for duty, and a small part of her is a bit disappointed by the news. It would have been beyond nice to have him on the ship with her. But she knows that Dr. Carlyle is right, and when Scott starts to protest she steps in.

“Time to rest up.” She gives him a teasing look. “That's an order from your big sister.”  
“By a damn minute.” He grunts, but does as she says and lies down. They're left alone for a bit after that.

“You feeling out of the loop I imagine?” She asks as she pulls up a chair beside him.

He shrugs. “Not so much, like I said; Harry and a few others filled me in.” He frowns then. “It sounds serious though, which only makes me worried about you. How are _you_ holding up?”

How she's holding up? Damn, she doesn't even know anymore...Infiltrating the Archon's ship, him sticking her with that very worrying needle, sacrificing Raeka, SAM _stopping_ her heart.

“I'm tired.” Is all she really can say, and it's true, but she thinks she'll tell him about all those tiny details leading to said tiredness...some other time.

Scott takes her hand and she lets out a sigh. She doesn't want this reunion to be gloomy, not _all_ of it.  
“Apart from outposts and allies, has _anything_ fun happened?” He jokes, and Ava almost has to laugh.

Yeah, yeah it has.

“Actually, I...” She smiles bashfully and rubs her forehead. “I've met a...guy.”

And Scott actually sits up when he hears that, eyebrows raised, mouth...He's really opened his mouth?

“My sister has a boyfriend?” He starts smirking and his hold of her hand tightens. “Is it someone from the Hyperion? The Nexus? Your _team_?”

 

Hearing Scott call Jaal her boyfriend almost throws her for a loop, because...he kind of is isn't he? It hasn't hit her until now, maybe 'cause angara don't really use those terms, but damn.   
  
She has a boyfriend. Jaal's her boyfriend.  
  
It sucks that Scott's bed is only for one person, she kind of feels like she needs to lie down for a bit.

  
“Ehm, no actually...” She clears her throat. _No, Scott, my boyfriend isn't any of the races from the Milky Way. It's actually an angara, and I think we could actually be the first and only people from either side who are together. That's not weird, is it? Right...?_

“Ava?” He looks concerned. “You...don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” He smiles. “It's new for you, I get that.”

Is there a competition for best sibling? Because Ava is pretty sure that Scott would win.

“No, it's-” She chuckles and takes a deep breath. She _wants_ to tell him. “His name is Jaal. He's...from the angaran Resistance. He's our liaison, kind of.”

She looks down at her feet and waits for the inevitable reaction. Not that she'd ever think Scott would react in a negative way, but she's frankly a little scared of _any_ reaction at this point.

But her brother simply snickers and gives her arm a light shove.  
“No one back home does it for you, and then you come here and fall for, well...an alien-alien?” He grins. “Now I really _do_ have to carry on the Ryder-name by myself.”

He looks up at the ceiling dramatically and Ava can't stop the laughing from breaking forth.   
“You wouldn't mind that one bit and you know it.” She teases and shoves him right back. Across the room she spots Harry giving her a scornful look. Right, go easy on the patient. She backs off and leans back in the chair, sighing.  
Scott settles down as well, easy smile back on his lips.

“Really, though.” He insists. “I'm happy for you. Are _you_ happy?”   
She doesn't even hesitate.  
“I am.” She murmurs, cheeks warming.  
Scott reaches forward and pats her shoulder. “Well, that's enough for me.”

 

oOo

 

>> _I told Scott about us when I met him today. I hope that's okay, but since pretty much the whole of your family knows about me, I figured the...whole of mine should know about you as well. Fair's fair, right? He was excited, called you my boyfriend, never figured such a small word would make me so happy actually. Is it weird for you, if I would start referring to you as that? I know angara don't use those words so._ <<  
  
>> _Of course I wouldn't mind that you told your brother, in matters such as these, family should know. I am...relieved that he is happy for you, and even if he was unhappy, I must confess that I do not think his feelings would be able to keep me from you regardless. Few things would. Also, I have wondered about that term, “boy-friend”, and why you would call a significant other that. Is it not better if people who are simply friends would use those endearments? Does it not create confusion? Though it is true that I am male, and that I am your friend, we are also...more, no?_ <<

 

>> _Honestly, I have no idea why humans use them. It's just something we've come to call each other when we're in a relationship with another. It doesn't really make any sense, I know. I won't call you that if you don't want to. I guess...'partner' could work, but that kinda makes me feel like a cowboy. (Old profession from Earth, sorry, just take my word for it, takes far too long to explain how those two go together.) Point is, don't want to feel like one. Am I making a huge deal out of this?_ <<

 

>> _After a search on “cowboy” and “partner” in the Nexus archives, I can understand why you would not want to be associated with a person herding animals, seeing as it's not actually what you do. And it's not that I don't want you to call me that, Ava. It's just that it confuses me, but confusion does not have to mean dislike. You are my Darling One, and I am yours. But you are also my “girl-friend” I suppose would be the right word, yes? We are, after all, from different places. It would only be right to use endearments from both sides. Fair is fair, like you said?_ <<

 

>> _I should have guessed that you would look it up, but then you know so...good, I guess? And thank you...Sometimes you don't have to understand things to accept them I suppose. Because I really want to call you my boyfriend, you know? I have no idea why, though. It feels so great, but also weird...Like, I have a boyfriend, and it's you. I didn't think I'd ever be so happy about calling someone that_. <<

 

>> _And I didn't think I would meet someone to call Darling again. Ava, your words make my chest ache, I feel...I cannot even fully describe it. I think I understand now why you thought it strange to say good night and then leave each other, even if we're on the same ship. But I know that I will see you tomorrow, and when I do, I will do all the things I crave to do now. Sleep well my Dearest, my Girlfriend, my Darling One._ <<

 

>> _Jaal, if you keep on saying such things before bed, my heart is literally going to explode_. <<

 

>> _Do you want me to stop then?_ <<

 

>> _...No, no I don't._ <<

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a translated line from the swedish song De Andra (The Others) by Kent
> 
> It's so fun to write two people from completely different worlds trying to form compromises and be sweet (AKA 99% of all my otp's.......)


	10. Every Thought, every Dream, every Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To find out your whole race had been engineered, created...To find out you weren't...really natural. She rubs her face and sighs, she has absolutely no idea what she would do in that situation."

Meridian, except it wasn't it at all, Ava thinks as she sits on the bed and looks out at the stars. A city of remnant technology...and bodies of unfinished angara.

When they'd returned to the ship, Jaal had simply given her a quick kiss on the forehead, telling her he'd find her later, before locking himself inside of the lab.   
At first it had hurt, like he'd been shutting her out, but every person had different ways to deal with things, and maybe he needed to figure it out in his head by himself before he was ready to actually...well, deal with it.

 

To find out your whole race had been engineered, created...To find out you weren't...really natural. She rubs her face and sighs, she has absolutely no idea what she would do in that situation. But she knows that she really wants to be by his side right now, and she doesn't want to rush him at all...but she really hope he's...done soon.

Damn, she sounds so mean, so inconsiderate. But she doesn't want him to sit alone in there, she's just worried. She's just so worried.

 

Then she hears the doors sliding open and she looks up to see Jaal walking in, a...guarded look on his face.   
“Hello Ava.” He sounds drained, and she immediately gets up from the bed and walks over to embrace him. He lets out a tired chuckle, his arms engulfing her. “Are you worried that I am finally broken?”   
She looks up at him in confusion, frowning just a bit.   
“To know what discovering that my people were “invented” has done to me?” He continues, not looking at her, but merely staring out across the room.   
“I just want to be here for you.” She whispers and presses her cheek against his chest. “I can't imagine what you're feeling...”   
He bends down to kiss the top of her head. “I've been trying to figure that out...” He sighs then. “I'm...numb. I'm in _awe._ ” 

He begins to speak of understanding and peace, the universe, and destiny. She tightens her grip and looks up at him.   
“You are your own person, Jaal.” She tries to chide. “Just because the Jardaan had a plan doesn't mean you have to follow it.”   
She thinks he's going to protest at first, but then she yelps out in surprise as he lifts her up and presses his forehead against hers.  
“That is exactly what I mean.” He smiles. “The Jardaan may be gone, but we still live on. We broke free and created our own fate.” Then he kisses her. “I'm not broken, Ava. I'm excited!”   
“Really?”   
He nods. “The angara were created for a purpose. We were given vaults and golden worlds. All these advanced tools. That purpose may perhaps be gone, but the future holds more for my people than a never-ending war with the kett.” Another kiss. “Much more.” 

Ava can't help but sigh in relief.   
“I'm so glad you're alright.” She puts her arms around his neck. “I love that you're so open with me. Vulnerable. Thank you.” Growing up with two parents who never really told her and Scott much of anything that went on in their lives, she almost wants to cry at the way Jaal includes her in everything that's happening around him. It makes her feel more comfortable than she's been in years.   
“You make me feel safe.” He says then, and yeah...yeah, that's exactly how she feels too. “It doesn't matter how we were created...This discovery changes nothing – except _ourselves_ , and that's...”  
“...everything.” She finishes, and he smiles at her so brightly that her heart almost hurts. 

 

oOo

 

“You don't have to go back to the lab...you know.” She murmurs as SAM announces that lights-out is closing in.

Turning back to her, Jaal stares for a moment before he takes her hands in his.  
“Are you sure?”   
She chuckles. “Wouldn't ask if I wasn't now would I?” She chews her lip nervously. “It would...be nice to have you beside me.”   
“Yes.” He nods slowly and pulls her in to kiss her briefly. “I will...get my things then.”

He gives her another peck and then slowly backs out the door, eyes staying on her for as long as they can before the doors slide shut. She stands there for a second or two simply smiling gleefully, before she realises that she needs to change into her pj's. Like, right now. Because otherwise she'd have to change in front of him and...

_He's your boyfriend, you idiot. It's nothing strange about that, don't you want him to see you?_

Actually...no, she doesn't. Or she does, but...just not...now? Fuck, she almost gets angry at herself, why is she like this? She walks back and forth through the room a few times, letting out her hair and grumbling.

Screw it, she's just not ready, is all. It happens all the time, she's seen it.  _Except this is real life and not some stupid vid._ She simply grunts and pulls off her shirt, throwing it on the ground in frustration, then she grabs the tank top she sleeps in and unhooks her bra faster than she's ever done it before. When she hears the doors sliding open again, she's just about to slip on her shorts and if he sees her panties it's not life or death, point is; she's not naked. Which is more than she can say for him. 

_At least he's wearing underwear this time_ . Or the angaran equivalent she supposes. 

“You walked like that through the ship?” She blushes, once again taking in the slope of his back and broad shoulders. Then again, he'd worn _far_ less when he'd walked over to Liam's room.   
Jaal puts down his suit and rofjinn on one of the armchairs and throws her an amused glance.   
“Why not?” He asks while placing a tiny kit by the bedside table, probably all those...creams and perfumes and stuff. She shrugs, yeah why not, really. 

He looks down at her bed and tilts his head, and Ava awkwardly walks over and removes the quilt.   
“It's not _that_ different from yours, right?” She wonders and climbs down, patting the pillow beside her. Her voice isn't shaking, she notes in relief even if her heart is practically drumming against her ribs.   
He blinks and settles down beside her. “No, not at all.” He eyes the pillow and picks it up. “Except...this. You rest your heads against them, yes?”   
She raises an eyebrow. “You don't have pillows?” Then she gets it and nods, throwing his...head-flaps a look. “Guess you don't need them.”   
“No.” He smiles, and she moves to take it from him and put it aside when he stops her, gently grabbing her hand instead and kissing her palm. 

Gasping in surprise, she quickly forgets everything else around them when he pulls her to him, mouth pressing against her own. He lets go of the pillow to embrace her and she moves her own arms over his shoulders, fingers moving down the back of his head.   
He sighs into her, and her entire body starts buzzing when he sinks down to lie on his back with her on his chest. Then she feels his tongue against her teeth and a cold, sharp shiver moves down her spine. She wants to pull away in pure reflex at first, remembering the last time someone did that, but then without really thinking she opens her mouth and lets him in.

It's...weird at first, partly because his tongue is much pointier and thinner than hers, but then a sweetness invade her senses which only make her want to explore his mouth all the more. It must be tons better than the toothpaste-taste he has to put up with, then again...he doesn't seem to complain. Not at all.   
He lets out a groan as their tongues glide against each other, and when they have to pull apart to breathe, his pupils are so blown she actually has to bite her lip so she won't laugh.   
It's clear that this is going somewhere they've never been before, and the look he gives her is one she's never quite seen in him either. It's filled with hunger.   
It's made absolutely apparent when her leg accidentally moves over his crotch and she feels a bulge.

_Oh_ . 

She immediately rolls off him and straightens up, chest drumming so hard she swears she's going to faint.   
“Ava?” He sits up and gently grabs her shoulders before she can even react, voice brimming with worry. “What's wrong, my Darling?”   
“I...” She mumbles, inhaling deeply to make her stupid heart calm down. “I'm so sorry, I...only meant for us to...sleep...”

He slowly lets her go and looks down at the mattress, his eyes...a little distressed.  
“I...misunderstood something.” He stutters. “Forgive me.”   
And if Ava could jump out the window and float out into space she would. He looks...so damn guilty and she wants to scream at herself in frustration.   
“No, I...” She sputters out. “Well, maybe you misunderstood a little but...Please don't think I don't want...this.” She gestures between them. “Because I do, I really, _really_ do.”   
He looks back at her then, and she takes his hand and squeezes.  
“It's just...” She sighs and looks anywhere else but his eyes. “I've never done it before, and I'm scared and...I'm not ready, yet.”   
“Ava.” He murmurs and cups her cheek, gently turning her to meet his gaze. “Then we will wait.”   
She actually lets out a snort. “That simple, huh?”  
“Why wouldn't it be?” He strokes her hair and her eyes flutter close. She must be the luckiest girl in all of Andromeda.   
“Thank you, Jaal.” She smiles warmly and moves to kiss him, but he stops her just as she's about to put her arms around him.   
“I, ehm...” He clears his throat nervously. “I actually need to...calm down. That wouldn't help matters, at all.” He glances down for a second and-  
Oh. Right.   
“I'm so sorry!” She starts again, but he only laughs as he takes her hand again and lies back down. She goes along and settles on her side next to him, pulling the quilt with her to drag over them. He moves to his side as well and faces her, their joined hands between them.  
“You shouldn't be sorry.” He says, and his pupils have started to become thinner again. “You make me want you so badly. Are you feeling guilty about that?”  
She shakes her head, smiling shyly. “No, I guess not...”   
“Tell me what you're feeling.” He murmurs, and holy shit, how is he supposed to calm down when he talks like that? _She's_ still pretty pent up, mound aching in a – not distracting – but still very apparent way.   
She releases the breath she didn't realise she was holding.  
“I feel powerful.” She whispers. 

 

oOo

 

They do fall asleep eventually, when their blood has stopped boiling and Ava has found a comfortable spot to sleep on. As soon as his genitals are no longer poking her in the hip, Jaal  _really_ wants to hold her as they sleep. They quickly realise that while spooning  _is_ possible, his head-appendages stretching down his chest do kind of dig into her back. And while she could lie on his chest while making out, it makes a very poor pillow longterm. At last they settle for both of them lying face to face, she resting against the crook of his neck while his chin is pressed gently against the top of her head. And of course he's holding her fondly against him, pleased smile on his lips.   
She snuggles more firmly into him and sighs. She's never felt more safe or comfortable.

 

Well, until he starts to snore...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feeling when your alien bf is better than 99% of human men, snoring included
> 
> Things are taking shape for the two lovebirds, when will the smut happen, you ask
> 
> Soon


	11. From my bedroom window, I can hear the bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Messages about sand, mothers, krogans, dreams, and...meetings

>> _My Darling One, it pains me to be away from you, even for a few days. I expect the whole trip to take no longer than a 'week', in your calculations. I haven't even arrived on Aya yet, and I already miss you more than I can say. If it's not too much trouble, please update me on your progress as the days pass. It would be good to inform the Resistance on our work while I'm there, and also...I wouldn't mind hearing how you're doing personally as well, seeing as I'm not there to experience it for myself. Stay clear, my Dearest. Your boyfriend Jaal._ <<

 

>> _Update for the Resistance: Eledaan is a desert with a sun that can kill you, but restoring the vault should make it a valuable asset. Working with the krogans to gain back their cooperation, scavengers are everywhere, hard work but it will hopefully pay off in the end. I think Efvra and the krogan warlord would get along._  
  
Update for the boyfriend: Eledaan is complete shit, there's nothing but sand as far as I can see! I stepped out of the Nomad and actually sunk down to my hips at one time. Drack had to pull me up, I think a bit of sand got inside my armor somehow, don't think I've removed it all yet...I miss you more than I can say as well! The Tempest isn't the same without you, I didn't think it would feel so empty so quickly. I know that when people get together, they usually want to be with each other all the time, but I had no idea it would be this...intense? It's a little scary, these feelings. I'll see you soon, I miss you.<<

 

>> _I know that you are strong, and don't need my help, but please be careful my Darling. Although, I must admit the image of you sticking up from the sand is very...entertaining. Like a tree, yes? Did someone take a picture?_ <<

 

>> _I'm not going to show you that!!_ <<  
  
  
>> _So someone did!_ <<

 

oOo

 

>> _I arrived on Aya early this morning where, surprisingly, my true mother met up with me at the port. She sends her greetings and well wishes to you, and also something about...pies that she'll send with me once I head back. She said that you apparently like them, have you and my mother been corresponding? I think I need to have a talk with her about personal space...I hope she hasn't said anything...embarrassing.  
Nevertheless, I'm free for the remaining day since the meeting will be later tonight, but I can't say that I am very excited to be here, which is strange. I've never had any problems before with finding activities, but somehow without you here by my side it all...seems so glum. I miss you. Your Darling Jaal._ <<

 

>> _Update for the Resistance: Searched a derelict Remnant ship, looking for a drivecore. The assistance from the krogan are slow, but this ship might be the answer. Scavengers are taken care of._  
  
Update for the boyfriend: I do love pie, tell your mother I said 'thank you' if you see her again! Otherwise I'll just write to her myself, it's no trouble.   
And these scavengers makes me sick, I'm so glad you didn't have to see their hideout. Kadara port may have its share of scum, but this...Well, at least it's taken care of now. Oh, and don't worry, your mom hasn't mentioned much about you. She's more curious about me to be honest. She's very...doting. It's sweet.<<

 

>> _I'm happy you seemed to finish that business with those criminals. You are...amazing, the way you handle everything, your skills, your efficiency. I'm in awe every time I'm with you, or – in this case – hear what you do. And I will tell my mother your thanks when I see her tomorrow, I suppose I am glad that you seem to get along so well. I'm really glad. It makes me feel...hopeful_ . <<

 

>> _You always say such breathtaking things...It makes me feel so mean, 'cause I don't do it nearly enough in return. You're amazing too, you know. It doesn't matter what you may say, I think you're pretty great. Very great. The best, in fact. You're not the only one who's in awe. I hope the meeting goes well. Maybe you're already on it as I send you this message. If that's the case I hope it_ went  _well instead. I miss you. Ava_ . <<

 

oOo

 

>> _I dreamt that I held you in my arms last night, a very welcomed distraction from yesterday's meeting. Apparently it was only the first part of two, and will continue today afternoon. I do not understand why they felt the need to drag it out, and the knowledge that I will be stuck here yet another day is almost suffocating. The thought of seeing you when it is over is the only thing that keeps me in good spirits. I hope that I do not make you uncomfortable by telling you my fantasises and dreams concerning you. If I do, then I am deeply sorry, and will not mention it any more. I know that we will...wait, and I am fine with that, I assure you. But I cannot help what my thoughts conjure up in my sleep, and I want you to know that I woke up missing you more than I can fully grasp_ .  _I hope your day fares better than mine. Your Darling Jaal._ <<

 

>> _Okay, I'm not going to bother with a report for the Resistance this time. Jaal, did you...have a sex dream about me?? I'm not uncomfortable, I want to know what you're thinking, I'm curious. You can tell me whatever you want. It's just...that it's so new for me, I'm unsure what to do. I'm a little nervous, but you could never make me uncomfortable. Just because I'm not quite...there yet doesn't mean I don't think about it, you know? I think about it a lot, actually..._ <<

 

>> _Now I'm nervous as well, look what you do to me. And that word, 'sex-dream' is...not quite what I would call it in our language, but I suppose it holds the same meaning. I don't remember that much, so I don't know if I can give you any details, if...that is what you wanted? And if that is the case, I would much rather tell you about it once I see you again. Wouldn't that be preferable, no? And that you think about it too...makes my heart warm, it makes me dizzy with adoration. Perhaps we should stop this particular conversation, or I fear I'll go mad from being separated from you._ <<

 

>> _You can tell me when you see me, I'm...very fine with that. And yes, okay, change of subject. I'm about to negotiate with the krogan, might be a bad time to walk into that meeting all...flustered. Can you believe that one of their own tried to run off with the drive core? It's all so...cliché? Anyway, I'm hoping we can work something out, getting them back into the Initiative and setting up an outpost would...really help a lot. I'll talk to you later, I hope your meeting goes well too!_ <<

 

>> _I don't know what...'cliché' is, but I take it it's not something that is...positive? I hope your meeting goes well too. Mine was...I do not think I want to take it over text, but it is certainly...exciting news. I want to ask, would it be possible for you to meet up with me on Aya when your business on Eledaan is concluded? I understand if you won't be able to, and if that is the case I will simply meet you back on your ship._ <<

 

>> _We have the krogan's support and an outpost! All in a...well, few days work. And of course I can go to Aya, don't be silly! I'll tell Kallo to take us there as soon as Addison gives us the clear. And ohhh, exciting news? Sure you can't tell me just a little bit? Why would I need to go to Aya, is it...good news but also serious? Is it incredibly important? You're making me very curious here._ <<

 

>> _It...is important, I suppose. But it's mostly that it would be more...flexible to share with you here. And also...I have another thing in mind, something I want to show you. A surprise, if you will. And congratulations on your negotiation, you make me more proud than anything else ever will. I...cannot imagine anything that would, at least._ <<

 

>> _A surprise? Now you're really making me curious!! We're just about done here so we'll start to head back to the ship any minute now. We'll be on Aya early tomorrow, okay? And thank you, you just keep on saying such sweet things, I feel so spoiled._ <<

 

>> _I mean every word I say, my Darling. I'll see you tomorrow, I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again._ <<

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title -> Andromeda -> Kent
> 
> I think you can guess what happens in the next chapter 0: ) 
> 
> Also, kudos to anyone who catches the shakarian easter-egg in the text


	12. Under the Light of Andromeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wherever we are, it smells like heaven...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

When Ava steps out from the ship on Aya, she doesn't quite expect Jaal to almost run up to her. But he does and then he actually _lifts_ her up and spins her around, laughing out in joy. It spreads quickly, and yeah, soon she's laughing too, hands resting on his shoulders.   
When he puts her down and presses his forehead against hers, she can't help but notice a few angara around the port who throws them very suspicious looks. Sahuna _had_ warned her that some might disapprove, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel a little weird to actually experience it.   
Even if Jaal has explained _several_ times that he isn't afraid to show his emotions, he seems to know that maybe at least a little bit of delicacy is required here, because he doesn't kiss her, and when they walk into the city he doesn't hold her hand. Though it's very clear that he wants to, several times reaching for her and then stopping himself at the last minute.  
But damn, she wants to hold his hand too, _so much_.

 

By the time they've reached the Resistance HQ and passed it, it's clear that he's leading her somewhere she's never been before, making it especially evident when he opens a pair of doors she hasn't even seen.

“Where exactly are you taking me?” She laughs as they walk down a corridor, and it's only then that he actually reaches for her hand, grasping it tightly.  
“That would spoil the surprise, wouldn't it?” He counters and turns back to give her a quick smile, then he turns suddenly and walks through a sidedoor and...it's another landing pad? Only this one seems to be connected to the HQ, and then he takes her to one of the shuttles and okay, now she's pretty damn curious.  
“Are we leaving the city?” She asks as he helps her up into the vehicle. “Can you at least tell me that?”  
“We are.” He smiles and keys in the nav-point in the shuttle's computer. “Trust me, I think you will enjoy it.”  
She chuckles and takes a seat. “Alright then, lead the way.”

He punches the key, and they take off.

 

oOo

 

“Wherever we are, it smells like heaven...”  
The shuttle had landed in the middle of the wild it seemed, and as soon as they'd stepped out, Jaal had covered her eyes with his hands and started leading her further into the shrubbery.

She can hear him chuckle behind her.  
“Heaven?” He asks, and slowly removes his hands. “Maybe it is. Take a look.”

She opens her eyes and...it's beautiful. Small lake in front of them and, she knew she'd heard a waterfall! Trees and flowers stretch out around her, more colours than she's ever seen in one place.  
“How is this place not packed with people right now?” She stares around in awe before she turns back to Jaal.  
He simply smiles. “I have my ways.” Then he tries to take her hand but she dances just out of reach and starts to jog down to the shore, laughing as she does. She's not serious in trying to prevent him from catching her, and soon enough she feels his arms around her as he lifts her up and spins her around from behind, a chuckle or two escaping him as well. Once he puts her down she turns around to give him a quick kiss, only once she's started it's pretty damn hard to stop. It's almost been a week since they last saw each other after all.  
“This is...a wonderful surprise.” She manages to say between breaths, and he smiles against her mouth before he moves on to kiss her nose, then her cheeks, her forehead...She's in a state of total euphoria, to say the least.  
“What happened at that meeting though.” She continues. “Exciting news, you wrote.”

At that he actually stops his ministrations and leans back to stare at her, as if he's totally forgotten all about it. She won't pretend that that makes her just a little bit cocky.  
“Right.” He clears his throat and steps back, but takes her hands. “I've been offered an advancement in the Resistance, and my own command.”  
Immediately she feels a cold shiver rush through her body in fear, and she has to swallow hard before she can speak. _Oh God, oh god, he's brought her here to tell her he must leave her. This is like one of those huge, dramatic 'good bye's' in movies._ Except this is real.  
“That's...that's great.” She gives him a crooked smile. “I'm happy for you.”  
He tilts his head. “Yet you don't sound...happy?”  
“It's...I know you wanted this, I know you weren't satisfied with your position.” She shrugs and rubs her forehead. “What made them change their mind?”  
He frowns but goes along with it.  
“My successes with you has made them...well, see me with new eyes.” He chuckles a little. “So thank you, I suppose.”  
_Great, she's going to lose him, and it's her own fucking fault.  
_ “So, your own c-command?” She almost stutters out, trying hard as hell to _not cry_.  
He nods.  
“It's a covert squad. Tech ops.” He explains. “Commanding a small group of elite specialists that infiltrate advanced kett sites.” He squeezes her hands. “High danger, high reward.”  
“Sounds...” She takes a deep breath. “Sounds pretty great.”  
“Yes.” He says gently. “It does.”  
Oh, damn she's trying so hard to blink the tears away now.  
“So when do you start?” She manages to choke out before she actually has to remove her hands from his and rub her cheeks as the tears break loose.  
“Ava.” He sputters out in distress and immediately cups her face. “Ava, I'm not taking the position.”  
  
_What?  
  
_ She inhales and looks up at him, vision blurry but confused.  
“But it's what you've always wanted.” She blubbers out.  
He actually snorts.  
“What I wanted, yes.” He moves his thumbs over her cheeks to dry the tears. “But not what I needed. Not what I _need._ ” He moves his forehead down to hers. “Because of you, I broke free of expectation. I...found my better self.”  
She has to let out a bashful giggle at that.  
“Really?”  
“Yes.” He kisses her then, and she laughs against his mouth.  
“So you're not leaving, then?” She whispers after, voice still shaking a little with fear.  
“No, I'm not.” He pulls her into his arms and embraces her. “Never. I...” He gently presses her against his chest, and she can hear his heart beating fast. “I love you.”

It's the first time he's said it, and Ava gasps and stares up at him.  
  
He loves her.  
  
_He loves me._  
  
Damn, now the tears starts running again.  
  
“I...I love you too, Jaal.” She chokes out laughing, because it's true. She does. It's her first love, and she finds it practically impossible that she will ever love another as deeply as she does him.

His smile is as bright as the sun, and then he picks her up again and spins her, round and round. She closes her eyes and it feels like she's flying.

He doesn't put her down this time, but holds her in his arms as she wraps her legs against his waist. Before she knows it his mouth is on her again, lips against her cheeks and jaw – must be salty – her nose, her forehead. He's dragging it out while she's impatient, so she groans and takes his face between her hands and kisses him, this time her tongue against _his_ teeth. She doesn't really know what she's doing but it still seems to work as he moans against her and opens his mouth. It's still a little strange, that pointy tongue, but it makes her heart race and that's enough. He moves his hand up to her hair to bring her even closer, and even as they eagerly taste each other, she feels how he slowly lowers her down back on the ground as they do.

“I...I want-” He sighs as they break apart for air. “Do...you want to...?” He gestures slowly between them, dilated eyes huge and wondering. _He's asking her if she's ready._

She knows for a fact that he will back down if she says no, she knows it more than she thinks she knows anything. And she's more happy than she can fully comprehend when she discovers that she doesn't want him to.

 “I do.” She whispers, smiling gleefully as she bites her lip.  
He blinks, swallows, trying to take in what she's just said it seems, then he lets out a chuckle, an excited sound, and kisses her one more time. Deep and loving.  
Before she can fully reciprocate, he's pulled back and taken her hands, backing away...closer to the lake?  
“Come with me into the water.” He murmurs and pulls her closer to the waterline, eyes gleaming.  
Is he serious? She can't help but giggle.  
“Really?”  
He nods eagerly and smiles. “Why not?”

First time having sex and it's going to be outdoors, in the water, on an alien planet. She grins and covers her mouth. Yeah, why not.  
“Okay.” She chuckles nervously and blushes as he pulls off his rofjinn and starts to unzip his suit. It's happening, it's really happening, and she huffs as she fumbles with her hoodie.  
They throw each other shy looks now and again, a nervous laugh or two escaping as they seemingly undress in an...almost exciting eagerness. Ava's hands are practically shaking as she struggles with the button for her pants and when she only has her bra and panties left, it strikes her that this is the first time he'll see her naked, for real. He's seen her in her underwear before, seeing as they actually sleep together in her quarters now, but never without and...shit, what if he thinks her breasts are gross, or that her body-hair is strange, or-  
“Ava.” He calls out gently, and she snaps out of her thoughts by the sight of him stepping into the water. He's so graceful, like a jungle cat or some really regal bird of prey or something. And then he turns around and holds out his hand and... _oh, god her knees are going weak._  
Fumbling to unhook her bra, she mutters in embarrassment at literally leaving him hanging, and her face is practically burning as she throws it aside and pulls down her panties. Her arms are hovering over her breasts and she throws him a nervous glance as she steps closer to the water. He stares, and his mouth is twitching into an almost smirk, eyes slowly moving up and down. From what she can tell, he likes what he sees. He likes it a lot.  
Swallowing, she moves to let out her hair and then without giving her stupid fears any thought what so ever, she steps right out after him and takes his hand. The water is surprisingly pleasant, and he leads her out until they're waist-deep, his eyes never leaving her.  
“You are more lovely than anyone I have ever known.” He rumbles and takes her other hand as well, moving around her so they circle each other slowly. “In body and in spirit.”  
She smiles bashfully. “You too...”

Pulling her further out, he starts to lead her to the waterfall, smiling as they get closer. “I love you.” He says again before he kisses her and then they're surrounded by rushing water from all sides as he pulls them in under the fall, mouth never leaving hers.  
She must admit, as much as his tongue and lips and...everything keeps her happily occupied, the waterfall does start to become a distraction. She can't really open her eyes and the force of the water is getting kind of heavy. When they break apart for air, she accidentally gets some in her mouth and nose as well, snorting and coughing as Jaal moves her out of the spray and...into a cave. Ahaa.  
“Are you alright, my Darling?” He chuckles and strokes her soaked hair out of the way while she clears her throat.  
“Just glad that was water I can actually drink.” She rubs her throat and sighs. “That was totally a moodkiller though. Sorry.”  
He laughs again and turns to heave himself up the small cliff leading into the cave.  
“Are you sure about that?” He asks and holds out his hand to help her up, and the way the waterdrops slowly run down his body, following every lean line he has...Yeah, okay...mood is definitely not killed, not even slightly disrupted, and she bites her lip as she takes his hand and goes after him.  
Once she's up he doesn't waste any time as he takes her into his arms, her thighs around his waist as he trails kisses over her mouth and jaw. The ground under her knees isn't that cold to her surprise, but then again, if it was she doubts Jaal would actually sit on it with his bare butt. She stops thinking about cold stone though when his hands travel down her back and touches _her_ ass, fingers roaming over her skin like he's trying to get a really good feel of her.  
“You're so soft.” He whispers and kisses her neck. “All over.” He moves back up her jaw and when his lips brushes over her ears she squirms in delight.  
She's so fucking bad at reciprocating it feels like, but he's constantly on her and she just gets so swept away.  
Trying to get her bearings back, she moves her hands up to his head and lets her fingers flutter over the thinner skin, where the blue almost glows in the lower light. That earns her a moan and she huffs out a laugh in pride at having guessed right.  
Her core is practically pulsing and damn, he _must_ sense how wet she's getting, it feels like she dripping all over his lap. She needs some friction or she thinks she might explode..., and oh, god she's pretty sure that he _must_ be a mindreader because suddenly she feels...something move against her. It's slow, but...that's his cock emerging, and she hasn't seen it fully before and damn does she want to now.  
Jaal moans against her neck as she practically sits as still as she can to feel it move out under her, a loud gasp escaping her as she feels it glide against her clit and labia.

It's...warm and firm against her mound and her thighs are almost shaking when she tries to sit up more firmly and move away to take a look. But before she can do anything at all, he grabs her around the waist to lower her to the ground, her legs loosening around him but still hovering around his thighs, as to keep him as close as she can. Her calf is brushing against his ass and she makes a mental note to try and remember to explore _that_ more thoroughly later.  
She expects the ground to be hard, but it seems like he's found a spot to, well, put her on that's not rock at all, but...something similar to moss? She runs her hand through it and it comes up clean and just a little bit moist. Huh.  
“Alright?” He asks, stroking her cheek as he looks down at her.  
She nods, and he bends down to kiss her, lips warm and welcoming. The hand on her cheek moves down to her hips and side of her ass, fingers leaving goosebumps across her skin.  
Her core _ache_ from not being touched, and now when she can't even get any friction from sitting in his lap, it's driving her a little insane. Is it possible to be this wet and hot? Is this how everyone she knew back in the Milky Way felt?  
When he pulls up from her mouth and rests on his hands, she's almost panting, and he smiles as he moves down again to kiss her neck this time, then her collarbone, her chest-  
He stops by her breasts and gives them a curious glance.  
“I have wondered about these.” He murmurs and looks up at her. “What are they for?”  
Somehow she feels like telling him what the main function of human breasts is would kind of kill the mood, so she simply huffs and leans up to rest on her forearms.  
“I'll give you the long version some other time okay?” She chuckles, hoping he won't ask further.  
But he simply gives them another look.  
“Are they sensitive?”  
She licks her lip and blushes. “Yes...”

He hums in fascination.

Then he bends down to kiss a nipple.

And Ava thinks she might faint.

She gasps as he does it, and throwing her a quick look, he does it again. And again.  
“That's-” She let's out a breathy giggle. “-that's good.”  
He hums and kisses her other breast, and while it tickles at first, it quickly transforms into a almost sharp kind of pleasure, and she stretches and bends her back like a pleased cat and suddenly she feels his warm tongue and _oh, my God_.

She moans and grabs for his shoulders, no idea what she's supposed to do with her hands otherwise. Should she try to touch him as well in some way? But it's so hard to think of anything else than his lips over her breasts, so damn hard. She'll...she'll do something after he's done, yeah that sounds like a plan. Definitely. Whenever he decides to stop, that is. Can you cum simply by simply having someone do that? It feels pretty likely in her case. Especially since _he_ seems to enjoy it as well. She had imagined that maybe he'd touch them or something, maybe more for her benefit if anything else. But his eyes are closed as he mouths over her tender flesh, and he moans along with her as she moves under him.  
When it feels like she might start to sob, he does at last pull away, leaving her nipples reddish and wet, the brisk air around them making her quiver slightly.  
She starts to sit up to somehow try and do something for him, but before she can even think of anything – much less ask him – he's back on her again, lips moving down her belly, navel, hipbone. Is he...?

_Oh God, he is._

“Jaal?” She whispers, heart drumming so much she's unsure if she even spoke out loud.  
He looks up at her as he kisses her inner thigh, pupils so huge that it looks like his whole eyes could be black. It looks...almost frightening, but also kind of beautiful. He blinks and stops briefly.  
“Is it alright?” He asks, voice thick and almost rumbling.  
Her legs are shaking with anticipation, and when he breathes so close to her mound it makes her spine tingle.  
“Yes.” She nods quickly, nervously. “Yes.”  
Smiling lightly, he gives her one last, long look before he bends down again and kisses her clit. She gasps loudly and pulls her legs together in reflex, pressing against his head, though luckily very lightly. He hums in amusement and kisses her again, this time letting his lips move against her slightly.  
“Oh my God...” She moans and throws her head back, struggling to relax her legs, yet her toes curl with every movement he makes.  
He doesn't pause to ask her what that means, thank goodness.  
“Darling...” He mumbles and then she feels his tongue and ohhh~  
It's so warm...and however much she liked having it in her mouth, this is... _so_ much better.  
Her core is throbbing so much she thinks he might almost feel it down there, hell maybe he does, and when he licks up along her labia she has to grab the moss under her just so she can pull _something._ She's so wet, it feels like she's dripping down her thighs and ass, surely he's getting tired, or bored. But he eagerly laps her up, tongue pressing against her clit and she lets out a sob as her nerves almost pulse.  
He opens his eyes and looks up at her without moving, and she meets his eyes as she continues to try and breathe. He looks dangerous, like a predator...eyes gleaming and lips moving against her. She swears her heart skips a beat.  
Then he slides his tongue _into_ her and she almost yelps, because _oh, god_ it's so warm, and wet and soft and-  
She moans loudly as he twists and moves, lapping her up from the inside. Now and again he pulls out to circle her clit before he licks his way back in and she might explode 'cause if it feels this good with only his tongue inside her then...  
She's so close, her fingers pulling at the moss as she moves her hips against his mouth, nerves burning. Then he gives her a glance again, and suddenly... _something_ , a jolt, moves through her body from her mound and she throws her head back and yells out in surprise.  
“W-what was that?” She stammers and tries to lift her head to look at him, but before she can do _anything_ , it moves through her again and-

She's only come once before, that night in her quarters...and it doesn't even come close to this. She calls out his name as she lifts her back from the ground, spine sizzling and nerves thrumming. Is she still in the cave? It feels like she's floating in space, like all her senses are maxed out, like she can feel a part of dust touching her skin, or hear a ship on another planet. It pulses through her in waves and when it feels like she's finally on the ground again, she looks up to see Jaal still kneeling between her legs, small smirk on his mouth.   
“That...” She gulps and falls back with her head against the moss. “That was... _amazing_ .”   
He hums and slowly gets up, and for a moment she's about to protest before she sees him walk over to the waterfall and wash his mouth clean. Right. She _had_ been...pretty messy.   
Once he turns back to her, she actually catches her first real glance of his cock jutting between his legs as he walks back. She bites her lip and feels her cheeks flush up even more. It's the same blue as the thinner skin around his head, the tip slightly pointy, and...pre-cum slowly running down the shaft. Oh, damn.  
“You look so beautiful.” He murmurs, snapping her out of it as he kneels beside her and bends down to kiss her. She giggles nervously and slowly sits up once he's moved, and looks down at her body; nipples raw, her thighs wet with her juices, and her clit and lips swollen and reddish. She looks, for lack of a finer word, royally fucked, and they aren't even finished yet. She swallows a grin.  
Glancing down at his crotch, she clears her throat lightly. “Can I...?”  
He follows her gaze and then quickly looks back at her, eyes gleaming.  
“Of course.” He smiles crookedly, seemingly as nervous as her, as if he hadn't just eaten her out a second ago.  
She hums a little awkwardly and puts her hand against his abs, her fingers shaking a little as she moves further, further...His muscles jump as she brushes against the base, and...she knows she felt it against her core earlier but, it's smooth against her fingers, maybe a little oily, some sort of natural lubricant? It's so warm, and as she takes a light hold of it she can feel it almost pulsing.  
“I have no idea what I'm doing.” She huffs out a laugh and shakes her head, cheeks red.  
He chuckles and kisses her forehead.  
“It's alright.” He murmurs and puts his hand over hers, making her grab it more firmly. “What do you want to do?”  
She shrugs and looks away. “Don't know...Just...feel you.”  
He hums and slowly starts to move her hand up his shaft, and when they reach the tip she tries squeezing and earns a groan in return. They move back to the base and she tries the same there and this time he actually bucks his hips against her hand. Ohh?  
“I think you have _some_ idea what you're doing.” He chuckles and then groans as she starts to carefully increase the pace. She's mostly fumbling it feels like, clumsy movements despite his encouraging moans. She frowns and continues to move her hand, thumb coming up to press against the small slit at the top and he actually _shivers_ at that. She stares for a second or two, then does it again, slowly smearing the pre-come around the already oily skin. He thrusts into her palm again and leans back on his hands, eyes hazy and so, so dark.   
Biting her lip, she moves back down to the base just as he bucks, then up again as he pulls away, smiling almost in triumph as he tilts his head back. Okay, maybe she's starting to get the hang of it, at least a little bit.  
Pumping him quicker and quicker, bit by bit, she actually starts to heat back up again as well. It surprises her a little at first, to get so turned on by simply touching him, but the faces he makes, his eyes closing, teeth clenching, lips parting. He's so _hot,_ and he's at _her_ mercy. She almost giggles, almost, but moves to kiss his jaw instead, and the scar on his cheek, his flat nose. His cock has gotten so wet it almost slips out of her grasp when she's at the tip, and when he cups her chin to kiss her back, tongue at the ready, her hold on him loosens. Hard to do several things at the same time, after all.

He doesn't seem to complain though, and instead grabs her ass and hauls her unto his lap, shaft between their bellies. She puts her arms over his shoulders and smiles nervously as she slowly raises her hips up from him.  
“I want to.” She mumbles, heart racing away in her chest, and he blinks before it seems to dawn on him and he hums pleasantly.  
“Me too.” He rumbles and kisses her again, hand reaching down between them to adjust.  
Her heart skips a beat as she feels his cock against her curls, and...damn, what will it feel like, is it going to feel weird, or only good? What if it feels bad?  
Her mind is racing as she feels the pointy head against her labia, then she gasps as she feels his fingers moving to spread her open. He gives her a long look.  
“Yes?” He asks, and maybe he saw how nervous she looked and asks again to be absolutely sure. She is.  
“Yes.”  
And then she feels him pressing in and- It's different than his tongue, harder, hotter. She lets out a breathless giggle as she's stretching around him and, yes...it feels a little weird, a little tight, and at first she's scared that's it...that's what it is, but then her nerves seem to catch up and flare out as he pushes deeper in, and she forces her muscles to relax as her entire body seem to suddenly thrum. Her clit is throbbing and she gasps as she lowers herself completely, sitting down on his lap again. He's humming as he settles into her, and when she lightly moves her hips to get closer to him, he moans and closes his eyes.  
“You're so warm...” He murmurs and presses his nose into the crook of her neck, bucking back up into her. She gasps as a wave of pleasure moves through her, lips parted as she runs her mouth over the bigger scar on his left side.  
They're not moving much at first as he lets her adjust, but then he kisses her and lowers her back unto the moss once again, her legs automatically settling around his waist.  
Resting on his elbows over her, he slowly pulls out leaving only the tip in, and it feels weird to suddenly be almost empty again. Then when he pushes back in it feels like he was made for her. Which is strange, because they weren't made for each other at all, if nature had had its way, they shouldn't even have met. Yet she's here with him, after having traveled from another galaxy, 600 years ago, several thousand light-years away. Jaal's right...they _are_ like the couples from her books. Literally star-crossed...She almost wants to laugh, and maybe cry.  
Instead she moans as he starts to increase the pace, moving in a flowing rhythm against her. She tries to follow his movements, but it's so hard to concentrate when it feels so damn good. She just wants to lie there and take every pleasure he can give her, but giving herself a mental push, she at least tightens her hold over his shoulders, fingers running over the blue skin again. He hums appreciatively and moves to grab her hip with one hand, thrusting up and-  
Is that another jolt she feels rushing through her body. She yells out, back bending and he gives her a tiny smirk when she get her bearings back. She's starting to guess what he's up to.  
“Is that...” She gasps. “Is that your bioelectricity?”  
“Mhmm.” He bends down to run his mouth over her ears and neck, meanwhile not slowing down his pace.  
“Didn't – ah – didn't know you could do that.” She pants and tilts her head back when his lips reaches her shoulder.  
“Never tried it...before.” He murmurs against her skin and rolls his hips, giving her insides an especially nice snap.  
She moans and then lets out a huff.  
“So you're experimenting on me?”  
“I'm sorry.” He stops moving and looks up at her then, eyes worried. “Should I stop?” She gives him a long look, and growing bold in his stillness, pushes her hips against his instead. His eyes flutter as he groans, and she smirks a little as she nervously gives him another.  
“I don't want you to stop.” She assures him and bites her lip before kissing him, and when he then sits up to take hold of her hips, her heart almost jumps up her throat.  
Pulling out, he adjusts and lifts her legs over his arms and when he slams back in she swears she can see stars. It feels like he's even further in, _how is that even possible_ , and her nerves almost ache the way they thrum under her skin. He has a better hold of her this way, and pretty soon he starts moving more firmly...and faster.  
Her toes curl with every thrust, and when she feels another jolt she sobs out his name, pulling at the moss and twisting her head back and forth.  
Her clit is so swollen it _hurts,_ and as he bucks against her, she can feel how wet her thighs and curls are with her own arousal and his pre-come. It's all...so much messier than she imagined, and she's almost surprised by how hot she finds it. She looks up to see Jaal watching her, dark eyes hooded and lips parted.  
“You're breathtaking.” He rumbles and at first she looks away in embarrassment, blushing at the way he had looked at her, but then she swallows her shyness for just a minute and turns to stare back. She can do that much.  
“So are – ah – you.” She gasps just as he slides in again, and he gives her a pleased smile.  
She continues to meet his gaze, and when she reaches down to rub her clit to ease the tension _somehow_ , his eyes widens and before she knows it, he's let go of her legs and bends over her to kiss her.  
“Temptress.” He whispers against her lips, pace becoming slightly irregular. “Goddess, Darling.”  
She's overwhelmed by his words, and the way he's pumping into her she's started to become something else too...  
“I think...” She moans as she actually takes the energy to push back against him. “I think I'm – oh – close.”  
He rumbles and kisses her throat, quickly making his way down to her nipples and takes one in his mouth again. Oh, god...  
With his tongue there, and cock slamming into her core, _and_ her finger on her clit, it's becoming too much, it's too much, it's too-  
She screams, she sings, she chants out his name as she comes once again, head thrown back and nerves lighting up.  
Then she tenses up as she suddenly feels his cock swell up and...warmth, wet heat flowing into her, coating, splashing, _it's so warm..._

His mouth was still on her breast as he comes and it's a low, long outdrawn groan that vibrates across her flesh, and then he lifts his head to pant against her skin. Slowly pulling out of her, she gasps as she feels his cum welling out in thick globs and dripping down her ass and the moss underneath.   
“Oh my God.” She breathes, and as he rolls off her and settles down beside her she can't find anything else to say. It feels like an eternity of them just lying on the cave floor panting, chuckling tiredly now and again.  
When she finally takes a deep breath and turns to look at him, he's already gazing at her, pupils thinner again, but still gleaming and warm.  
“You are wonderful.” He whispers and moves to stroke her cheek. “Your soft skin, your hair, you are...” He seems to lose the words and simply shakes his head slowly, and yeah...she doesn't really have any words either.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear I hope you enjoyed that >_>
> 
> There's a huge difference in writing my Shepard having sex (more feisty, more experienced), and my Ryder having sex (more shy, significantly less experienced). Hope I did it well 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter started to become kinda long, so I cut it up in two parts lol
> 
> Title is, well...you really should know by now ;)


	13. Take it in your Heart now Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They've done it, she's done it, and it felt...amazing."

They must have fallen asleep, once the high settles down and exhaustion takes its place, legs tangled and her head against his shoulder.  
She wakes up as the air around them has gotten slightly colder, rubs her arms and checks her omnitool. They left the city almost three hours ago. She wonders if the others have started to wonder where they are, but there aren't any messages in her terminal. Oh, god what if they know exactly what they've been doing...

She turns and sees Jaal still snoozing beside her, like he doesn't got a care in the world. What's it to him if the crew knows that they've just made love in a cave...

Made love...she covers her mouth and smiles in glee, releasing a soundless giggle. They've done it, she's done it, and it felt... _amazing_.  
He has one arm around her shoulders and she carefully removes it to sit up and run her hands through her – very – tangled hair. As she does she gasps in surprise as she feels the now cold semen sticking to her inner thighs and curls, having turned almost crusty while they slept. She shivers in discomfort and gets up to head over to the waterfall, a wash was imminent. It doesn't get better when she feels the remaining cum start to slowly run down her thighs and a light ache begins to make itself known, like her body just now realises that it has just been fucked. She grunts and quickens her steps, almost jumping down into the water, only to yelp out in surprise at the temperature. It's not super cold, thank goodness, and as she splashes around to get her body moving it quickly gets more pleasant.  
  
Her earlier shout does seem to wake up Jaal though, as she hears him shuffle around and grunt.  
“Ava?” He calls out before he seems to see her, and she turns around to smile shyly at him. He gets up to walk over to her and damn, he's still so graceful, and so chill...Just casually walking over to her, genitals still out and everything.  
He had walked like that, almost, through the ship, she reminds herself. Maybe nudity wasn't such a huge deal among the angara. She stops splashing water between her legs when he sits down on the edge of the rock, feet dipping down in the lake.  
“Hello.” She mumbles, fingers fumbling a little awkwardly, voice nearly lost in the sound of the fall behind her.  
“Hello.” He chuckles and tilts his head to look at her in amusement. His feet move closer to her and then he's lightly taken a hold of her hips and pulls her closer. _Thumbs on your feet, must be so damn useful,_ she muses as he bends down to kiss her, humming pleasantly.   
She giggles and indulges him for a moment, and then pulls back much to his disappointment. Hers as well.  
“We should...clean up and get back.” She rubs her shoulders. “The others will wonder.”  
He sighs and kisses her again, quickly this time.  
“You're right.” He gets down in the water as well, and before she can fully react, he turns to her and splashes her with water.  
“What are you doing?” She laughs and sputters before wiping her face.  
He laughs back. “You said we should clean up.”  
  
Is that how he wants to play, huh? Alright. She bites her lips and backs away a feet or two, then she splashes as much as she can back at him. He grins as he prepares to retaliate, but before he can she's turned around and dived under the waterfall, emerging on the other side. She hears him dive as well and when he comes up she uses her biotics to push a bigger wave against him, costing him his footing and making him go underwater again. When he's not coming up she freezes for a second, thinking she's gone overboard. Oh, damn did she hurt him?  
“Jaal?” She calls nervously, making her way over to where he was, and then he breaks the surface and jumps her. She screams and he grabs her around the waist and spins her around.  
“Biotics is cheating.” He scolds playfully as he sets her down again and kisses her nose.   
“Didn't know we had rules.” She chuckles back, and as he leads her back to the shore she has to take another look at the place around them. “It really is beautiful here.”  
He hums and looks at her. “Yes, I thought so.”  
“Thought?” She repeats and raises her eyebrows.  
He doesn't even blink or stutter.  
“It all pales in comparison to you.” He murmurs and holds up her hand to kiss her knuckles. “Nothing will ever compete.”  
  
_Oh, God_

The sand underneath them is luckily soft, she feels like she might faint any minute. _  
_ “Stop...” She mumbles shyly and looks down at the ground. Really, how many more nice things can he say to her before she combusts?  
“I mean it.” He chuckles and pulls her in to hug her, kissing her wet hair. Right, now that has to dry...again. She sighs against his chest and looks up at him.  
“Thank you.” She blushes, then clears her throat. “So...I guess we should just wait for our bodies to dry, or?”  
He hums and looks around them, seems he hadn't really thought it through before he asked her into the water. Throwing a look at the heap of their clothes, he moves over and picks up his rofjinn, holding it up for her. Ava immediately shakes her head.  
“No, no.” She holds up her hands. “We can't use that, it'll be ruined.”  
“Nonsense.” He smiles and walks back to her. “It's just water, and I have several.” He motions for her to turn around. “Let me.”  
She grumbles, but figures it's pointless to argue with him, especially when he starts to gently pat her hair with it.  
  
“You must think it pretty weird huh?” She chuckles. “The hair.”  
“It's weird now.” He smiles, running the cloth over it. “But when it's dry it's soft, and it blows in the wind like flowers, or light cloth.” He chuckles. “I can't really fully compare it to anything here...”  
He moves down to dry her shoulders and back, and when he reaches around to cup her breasts she starts to think there was a whole other reason for him to want to towel her up.  
“What about these then?” She bites her lip and turns a little to look at him over her shoulder. “Are they weird?”  
He fondles them with the cloth, humming in her ear.  
“Something that can bring you so much pleasure?” He squeezes lightly and she lets out a breath. “Something that is so tender, so warm? No, not weird.”  
He dries her belly and ass, then takes her shoulders and turns her around. She can't stop smiling for the whole duration.  
“What about my legs?” She tries. “They're _very_ different.”  
“Yes, they are.” He agrees and kneels down to dry them as well. “So...straight. How do you not fall over?”  
She laughs and shrugs.  
“Biology took a different path I guess.” She takes hold of his shoulders to keep her balance as he lifts a foot up.  
“Now these.” He says. “So small.” He smiles. “Just like you.”  
She huffs and gives him a light shove, but he simply laughs and gives her toes a peck before putting her foot back down. He's literally on his knees, kissing her feet. She's unsure how she feels about that image, like he's worshipping her.  
She doesn't get much time to think about that though, as he slowly moves up to dry her thighs and mound.  
“W-what about that then.” She mumbles, heart starting to speed up.  
He puts down his rofjinn and moves to touch her curls.  
“Not weird.” He smirks and runs his fingers down, brushing over her folds. It tickles a little, but it's mostly really _good_. “Just very, very tempting.”   
She lets out a shaky laugh, and when he stands up she sees that he's hard again.  
“Well, now” She says weakly and swallows, small smirk growing on her lips. “I do think we have a problem.”  
He tilts his head and smiles before taking her hands.  
“We do have the shuttle-ride back.” He rumbles.  
  
Suffice to say, they collect their clothes and run back to the vehicle faster than ever before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Andromeda by Gorillaz (lol had you fooled for a second there didn't I) I love their new album, so many good songs
> 
> Also, next chapter will probably be...a little later? Upcoming test, need to try and prioritize ^^' 
> 
> Good things will come to those who wait? 0:)


End file.
